Paul Gascoigne proposes wild five-way job swap involving England, Manchester United, Gary Lineker and Pep Guardiola

Paul Gascoigne has taken note of Gareth Southgate saying he won’t take a coaching job until next year, as well as Gary Lineker being in contract talks with the BBC over his Match of the Day hosting duties, and put two and two together to make a prediction we’re not sure anyone else in the world has come up with.

Southgate stood down as England manager after eight years in charge in the summer, with his last game coming in their Euro 2024 final defeat to Spain .

Lineker is meanwhile set to go out of contract at the end of the season and is reported to be in discussions over a new deal.

Paul Gascoigne: Gareth Southgate will either end up at Manchester United or on Match of the Day

At the same time, Erik ten Hag’s future as Manchester United manager remains under scrutiny after a poor start to the season. Southgate was previously the favourite to succeed to Dutchman, but no longer features among the runners with most bookies.

And so, Gascoigne has taken these several entirely disparate pieces of contradictory and quite possibly faulty information and crammed them together into a misshapen prediction.

Gascoigne told SportsCasting: “I heard rumours that [Southgate] was going [to Manchester United] and [Pep] Guardiola was going to be the England manager.

“Lineker is quitting MotD, isn’t he, and I thought, I wonder if [Alan] Shearer is going to take over, or Gareth Southgate because he’s been doing a little bit of commentary. I wonder if he’s going to take over as the main man on the Match of the Day. But it looks like he loves his management.

“I reckon Shearer will take over because he loves a bit of money, him. He’s so tight he only cries from one eye!”

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So what of Southgate in this scenario? Gascoigne continues: “If Man United do get rid of [Erik] ten Hag, I could see Gareth taking over as manager. I always say once you’re England manager, you’ll get a job for life.”

Ah well, fair enough. Then we guess everything’s wrapped up in a neat little package...except City still need a manager in this scenario. It's between Lineker and ten Hag, we guess.