Can We Stop Our Young Adults From Substance Experimentation?

Teenage substance experimentationPhoto byJoshua Resnick / Adobe Stock

“Just try it! You might like broccoli if it’s in cheese sauce!”

We encourage our children to be open to new experiences and to experiment.Then, when they get to their teenage years,their brains are hardwired to push boundaries and seek stimulation.

So, why is it such a shock when our beloved offspring start “experimenting” with alcohol or recreational drugs?

You also really need to set aside any preconceived notions that young people who try out legal and illegal psychoactive substances are from ‘socially challenged’ backgrounds.A well-educated young person from a wealthy family is just as susceptible to temptation as any other teenager.

Bythe age of 17, almost a third of young people have sampled cannabis.When it comes to harder drugs including cocaine, ecstasy and ketamine, the figure is one in ten.That experimentation isn’t skewed by social factors, according to a report by the Centre for Longitudinal Studies at the UCL Social Research Institute.

The co-author of the report — Professor Emla Fitzsimons — said:“To some extent,experimental and risk-taking behaviours are an expected part of growing upand, for many, will subside in early adulthood.Nevertheless, behaviours in adolescence can be a cause for concern as they can have adverselong-term consequences for individuals’ health and wellbeing, and their social and economic outcomes.”

Faced with the knowledge they’re likely to want to “try” new things at parties and on nights out, what can we do as parents to help them to appreciate the consequences and risks?

Don’t try ‘too’ hard to stop them

Do you rememberthe failed anti-drugs campaign “Just Say No!” If only it was that easy.There’s a big difference between a conversation to inform them, and one that demands compliance.Most parents are proud to have created free thinkers who can make their own decisions. Now is not the time to steamroller over all that good work by demanding certain behaviours.

Instead,parents are advised to consider why young people may start to experiment with substances. This could include for example:

• Peer pressure and fitting in.
• Curiosityand poor impulse control.
• Feeling like it’s a rite of passage.
• As a distraction, or a way to relax, in the face ofstress or anxiety.
• Finding a way to feel more confident and relevant in a social setting.

With each of these,parents have the option to suggest alternative coping strategies.Then, if their young person does still choose the route of alcohol or drugs, the conversation could be about whether that worked in achieving their aim, and what else they could try.

In other words, the key is to approach the topic with emotional intelligence. Think about what your young person may be going through in this formative and confusing time.Ask them to explain, if they can, and show empathy; preferablywithout regaling them with tales of your own misspent youth or teenage mistakes.

Knowledge is power

The more parents know and understand drugs themselves, the better able they are to inform and guide their young people.Do you honestly know enough about drugs to explain why they’re harmful?This is especially true as these days the substances you can purchase online or in person are many and various.

It’s also vitally important for parents to develop the techniques and skills to deliver knowledge in a memorable and calm way.Your young person will shut down and probably move away if they feel under attack or get bored.

Discussions need to be couched in understanding and support, not dire warnings or condemnation.Nor can hours of badgering be expected to work.It’s more effective to briefly present the facts, simply and with evidence, then guide them to make their own minds up.

Don’t see a slip as a pattern

The next step is to watch them, from a distance.Be ready to step in and pick them up when they make the wrong choice, without judgement or “I told you so.”Coming home drunk or high, and feeling rough the next day, shouldn’t be a sign that they’re ignoring you or defying you.

When they feel better, it’s a good time to ask for a chat and remind them of the facts, and the ways they can stay safe and healthy if they do choose to repeat that experience.

We all want our kids to be resilient, free thinkers.So, let’s make sure we provide a safety net woven from our constant support,guidance and insights, rather than making them feel like a disappointment or a failure when they experiment in ways we don’t approve of.