How to Get Where You’re Going Without a Plan

Multiple pathwaysPhoto byAIproduction / Adobe Stock

Afriend of mine once confessed to me that they wondered how many hoursof their life they’d lost looking for keys, sunglasses, their wallet, and other items they needed when they left the house.

How many of us have similar problems with becoming organized, and truly“having a place for everything, and everything in its place”?

Many people struggle with organizing their homes, their family’s activities, even their careers.But is it possible to succeed without being organized?

It is.Andyou don’t have to implement somebody else’s idea of “organization” to meet your goals and succeed in life.

Accept your lack of organization

We live in a time when people constantly download organization apps, buy books by Marie Kondo so they can learn how to best fold the contents of their sock drawers, and rely on smartphones and watches to track their every breath, heartbeat, and appointment.

Itcan feel very lonely for the unorganized person who, at heart, doesn’t really want to spend their time doing any of those things.

You can beat yourself up over that for years,or you can accept that, even if you set up a great system (or somebody who means well sets one up for you),you most likely will never be comfortable maintaining that system.When you accept and even lean into your chaos, you’ll find ways to make it work for you.

Do a self-assessment, but focus primarily on function

Once you accept that a lengthy to-do list, new closet shelving, or even awhole lot of plastic bins (typically the first thing people buy when they want to “get organized”) isn’t going to change your life and solve your problems,it’s time tofocus on function, not form.

Every adult has different spheres in which they must exist.Some people have more than others, and we don’t always have all of them (or lack some of them) by choice, but mostly we all work a job,we have some kind of network of family or friend relationships, we exist and live in a place.

There are many ways to measure “success,” andmany people focus on the form of success, rather than the function.They want their lives to look good, especially when compared with others’ lives and successes.

The disorganized person has to accept that their life may not look tidy to outsiders.But if you can look at your different spheres andfocus on function, you may find that yes, you’re employed, and you’re making a living.You do engage successfully with other people as you navigate your work, school events and requirements for your kids, doctors’ appointments and shopping trips and all the other things that make up “adulting.”

Of course there may be areas of your life you want to improve.But, again,focus on improving function, not form.You don’t really have to have the perfect “docking station” or table by your door with a place for every item you might need whenever you leave the house.But you can work on putting your keys or phone in one or two of the same places whenever you come home; eventually you’ll start to have fewer instances of looking for them.Repeat to yourself:It’s all about functioning.

Incorporate small, daily changes, rather than monthslong “plans”

It may seem counterintuitive,but people who struggle with organization can often be overwhelmed when they try to enact more long-range plans and goals.This is where so many organizing gurus fail: by demanding that people “form better habits” and “just do something for thirty days.”If a person has difficulty picturing and streamlining the hours in one day, trying to think in thirty-day terms will destroy them.

Give yourself permission to think in terms of (at most) one day.To-do and goal lists can be helpful, they just need to be shorter term.What three to five things do you really have to accomplish today?Also, what items can you write down that might contribute to long-term goals, even if you’re trying not to think about them that way so you don’t get overwhelmed?Write down “check in with son on math.”Don’t write down “Make sure son does 15 minutes of math homework every day this week.”

Go ahead and live in that moment that everyone is always telling you to focus on,right before they tell you you have to make five-year plans and buy complex date planners and calendars and color-code the events on them.

You really can achieve many things you want by stringing together enough successful moments, rather than trying to reverse-engineer yourself into “a master plan.”

Your success does not have to look like everyone else’s

You might be amazed to find how much time you have to focus on function and perform useful daily tasks once you stop beating yourself up for not having everything in your basement stored in perfectly labeled bins, or a cut-and-dried five-year plan that you must achieve to be happy in your work.

Remember that there are many ways to achieve success.Studies have shown that it’s possible for “different environments to suit different outcomes” —some people even manage to be more creative in surroundings that aren’t as orderly.

There are many ways to get where you’re going — even when they’re not the fastest or most streamlined ways.In the end, it may be more effective toaccept your organizational challenges, focus on function, andlive your life in smaller but still positive, forward-moving moments, than it will be to create another organizational “system” that you’ll never use.