21 Mortifying Dating Stories That Will Make You Cringe With Secondhand Embarrassment

Dating is... rough, and we're bound to embarrass ourselves sooner or later. But if you're lucky enough, the right person will overlook all those moments you thought were absolutely humiliating. So when redditor u/Sideways_Turd asked the r/AskReddit community to share the mortifying thing they did while dating their now-spouse, married folks dished on their most embarrassing stories. Here are a few of them.

1. "The first time this woman had me come and meet her folks, they ordered pizza, and when it showed up, I go, 'Oh, I got it,' and I DROPPED THE PIZZA as soon as I closed the door. Everyone was quiet for what seemed like an hour, and then, at the same time, her dad and older and younger brothers all started laughing/crying. I thought her dad was gonna have a heart attack. To this day, the guy says he's never laughed harder, and he's like 90. Thirty-plus years later, these people have their kids still making fun of me, man."

2. "I ripped a noxious silent fart in the grocery store as we were checking out. His face went white, and he started grabbing the grocery bags pretty fast. He said, 'We gotta get outta here. Someone farted, and it smells really bad.' He took off walking really fast, and I started laughing so hard that I couldn't keep up. He didn't turn around until the parking lot saw me laughing and said, 'That was YOU!' We've been together for 17 years; married for almost 10 years."

— u/thisthingwecalllife

3. "We weren't even dating yet. We had hung out a few times in a group, and he was driving me back to my sister's place in his sweet new car, and I threw up everywhere. I tried to open the window first, to throw up out the window. It did not work; I threw up on the window, the door, myself, and his soft gray leather seats. When I tell you that my beloved husband of 20 years is a neat freak and a perfectionist, that is an understatement. Knowing him now, I can't believe he ever spoke to me again. I can't believe he cleaned all of that up and still proposed six months later."

4. "I had a few beers, not realizing they were 10% ABV each — this was completely my own poor judgment and not paying attention. I threw up twice in the toilet and once in the bathtub in his apartment. I managed to throw up in my own hair all three times. He cleaned it up three times, washed my hair all three times, and combed it out. The third time, he found my anti-frizz spray and French braided it. We got married four months ago and have been together for five and a half years. He's the best!"

— u/xoSMILEox92

5. "I was in my first year of work out of law school. I was working around the clock, was super sleep-deprived, and had basically no social life. He took me to a party with a bunch of his Burning Man artist friends. They were going around the circle, talking about their current projects — sculptures, textile art, all kinds of really cool things. I was feeling out of place and so sleep-deprived and tired that my social compass was off. When it came to my turn to share, I blurted out, 'All I make is money.' I was trying to be self-deprecating and funny, but you could've heard a pin drop, the way that joke went over. I still cringe 15 years later!"

6. "We went to an amusement park, and one of the rides suddenly made me very nauseous. I tried to hold it in, but it didn't work, and I ended up vomiting. The unfortunate part was that it was one of those giant spinning swings, and he was directly behind me, so he got a good dose of it all over him. He cleaned himself up and took me home while having to keep pulling over to let me out to continue being sick. We've been married for 13 years, and I don't go on amusement park rides anymore!"

— u/Kanadark

7. "I farted on the first date. A few weeks later, I laughed so hard that I got a fettuccine noodle stuck in my nose and had to excuse myself because I couldn't breathe. A few weeks after that, I smacked his cousin's boyfriend's ass really hard (I was drunk, and they looked similar from behind). Eighteen years later, I'm still an embarrassment."

8. "Not me, but my loving husband. In the very early days of dating, we were waiting out a rainstorm on a walk in a Mexican grocer. Walking around and looking at all the imported items, he picked up a bottle of men's cologne/aftershave. I leaned in to give it a smell as he squeezed the sides of the plastic bottle to waft the smell for me — but he squeezed too hard, and it shot straight up my nose and down my throat. It was so startling and so awful. All I could smell for HOURS was cheap aftershave. I still married the doofus."

— u/TheRoyalShe

9. "When he introduced me to his parents, I was nervous enough already. When we got into his parent's car to go to dinner, I was hit with a very unpleasant smell. I thought maybe one of his parents had an accident or something, like maybe they had on some Depends or just didn't shower for a week. No one said anything in the car; it was a total awkward silence. When we finally got to our destination, I stepped out of the car, and my foot slipped. I had unknowingly stepped in fresh dog shit right before getting in the car, and during the ride, I had managed to grind it into the carpet. My man cleaned that shit up for me, and it took some years, some alcohol, and singing karaoke before I felt like his mom finally accepted me."

10. "One of the first few times having sex, my now-husband picked a rather large bit of toilet paper out of my ass and just said, 'Oh, our toilet paper sucks,' and then kept at it."

— u/FindMe_SomebodyToLuv

11. "Early on, I spent the night and overslept the next morning. He had already left for work, and I was slightly hungover, so I took a big morning dump. I ended up clogging the toilet. There was no plunger, and I was late for work, so I ran off and eventually worked up the courage to text him about it. He bought a plunger on his way home and... took care of it. We've been together 11 years now."

12. "Well, I almost ruined his proposal. He has an acquaintance who I think is the biggest douche canoe on the planet, and he was dating a colleague of mine for whom I also have zero respect. Well, they got engaged in Hawaii the day before we got to Hawaii. I was due for a marriage proposal at any time. When I saw their social media posts, I said, 'Don't do something cheesy like propose in Hawaii.' He had the ring already purchased and a perfect-day snorkel trip with my favorite animal already booked. Fortunately, he knew I was my worst enemy and carried out his original plan, and it was an absolute dream day. I'll never live this one down."

— u/JustGenericName

13. "I tripped and fell into his mouth for our first kiss. He thought I was being overzealous when I came flying in. No, my heel caught on some uneven asphalt with my lips all puckered, and my head already turned up as I crash-landed against his chest. He pulled back, basically prying me off of him, and said with a knowing smirk, 'Let's try that again...' Then he leaned in for the most breathtaking kiss I've ever had. I was so embarrassed because I'm not that big of a klutz that I absolutely blocked this from my memory. Maybe a year later, he brought it up laughing, 'Remember our first kiss?!' I said that I did and talked about a totally different (later) kiss. He was quick to refresh my memory, and it came flooding back. To this day, he finds it funny that I blocked our first kiss, and he only half-believes that I 'tripped.' (I did, I swear!)"

14. "We spent our first Christmas together with all his family. I had horrible cramps and excused myself to the bathroom to do my business. I ended up clogging the toilet and absolutely panicking. After I texted for help, my now-husband came to my rescue with a plunger. His brother saw him and laughed, 'Clogged the toilet?' and my husband just said, 'Yep,' and took the blame to save me the embarrassment. That's when I knew it was true love."

— u/Necessary-Quality-77

15. "We were in college, and he lived close by, so we ended up at his house a lot. Locally, the doors aren't totally sealed off, meaning there is space at the top. I had to poop but didn't let it on; I just pretended I was going for a quick bathroom run. I always 'wipe and look' until the toilet paper is clean. He decided to jokingly surprise me and jumped above the opening at the most inopportune moment when I was looking at the shit on the toilet paper. I know he saw; he knows I know he saw. We both never acknowledged it happened!"

16. "We had been dating for only a couple of weeks and had not slept together at this point. I had just moved back home after getting out of the military and was staying downstairs. We were preparing to watch a movie we had rented (Blockbuster was a thing) and hang out for a bit. My much younger brother was still living at home. I had just returned from upstairs to get drinks and popcorn and had my hands full. Just as I was about five or six feet in front of my girlfriend (now wife of 27 years), who was sitting on the couch, my brother decided to 'pants' me. He grabbed not only my shorts but also my underwear."

"Intentional or not, everything came down. I could only stand there, hands full of popcorn and drinks.

I very calmly set down what was in my hands and pulled up my shorts. As I turned around, the look of fear and surprise on my brother's face was almost comical. He ran faster than he had ever moved before, possibly scared or scarred for life.

My girlfriend just blushed and thought it was funny. When I finally sat down, she said, 'Well, you've shown me yours. I guess I'm going to have to show you mine now.' I knew she was a keeper then."

— u/NotDrEvil

17. "I once pooped myself a little while sitting on the bed eating an ice cream sandwich. She heard the fart and said, 'Did you just shit yourself?' I admitted that I did while continuing to sit there until I finished my ice cream sandwich. We've been married for 10 years now."

18. "I did not know at the time that I was allergic to Vagisil. The gyno was even surprised at how swollen I was. Then, I had to sit open-legged in front of a fan for a week. My man did all the things for me that week."

— u/caywriter

19. "We weren't even dating yet, but I was helping her move. We were friends before we started dating. Anyway, I was moving the kitchen stuff, and I dropped the box and broke all of her nice ceramic plates. I felt bad, so I gave her $200 to replace them, but some of them were sentimental and not replaceable. I felt so bad. About a year later, we started dating, and she picked this Greek restaurant. Apparently, at Greek restaurants, they celebrate by smashing plates on the floor, so that was a cute choice for her. She did insist on smashing my plate for me, which I thought was fair."

20. "I had a heavy, heavy, heavy period overnight — and I woke up to a near crime scene. Worse yet, it was a hotel room. He was totally cool and didn't even blink twice. He never brought it up again, either."

— u/aceituna_garden

21. "We got pregnant with twins before we got married. I didn't even move in with him until I was five months along. I can't remember if I was three or four months pregnant when he took me to a fairly nice restaurant. I ordered some iced tea and some kind of pasta dish. I took the first drink of my tea and felt the all-too-familiar nausea that came right before I was going to throw up. I threw up a lot when I was pregnant. I made it to the bathroom just in time. This restaurant had one women's bathroom, no stall, just a bathroom. As I was bending over and puking, I lost all control of my bladder."

Do you have an embarrassing story from when you were dating your now-spouse? Tell us about it in the comments or fill out this anonymous form .

Some entries may have been edited for length/clarity.