Just like Gillian Anderson, I've accidentally become a sexpert – here's what I know
20 days ago
My kids have given me the avatar of Dr. Jean Milburn on our Netflix account. For the uninitiated, Milburn is the sex therapist in the TV series Sex Education , played by Gillian Anderson.
They have done this because I have frequently discussed sex publicly, in my book and newspaper articles, plus on This Morning 's sofa. I have, much to their embarrassment, become a commentator on it. Not because I have any professional qualifications you understand, but because I have had experience of re-entering the dating arena post-divorce and lots of people are keen to know everything that entails. Basically, I've found myself an accidental sexpert.
Gillian Anderson also has no professional qualification in this area, but by dint of being a sex symbol, and then playing an open-minded sex therapist, she has a platform to talk about it. And she is keen to increase enjoyment and decrease shame, particularly for women.
Want is Anderson's new book and it is a collection of anonymous fantasies curated and introduced by her. Over 800,000 women submitted their sexual desires and the actress read every single one. She even submitted her own fantasy.
When she wrote it down. she said it felt "dirtier on the page than it did in her head," tapping into the shame we feel around sex.
It was only when I had to take a good look at myself post-breakup break up did I question my own behaviours around shame and sex. I'd always been a little reserved, verging on prudish. I think this was down to the ideas I'd absorbed in childhood. That good girls don't enjoy sex, they endure it.
Post-divorce, I found a new freedom. I've hardly been promiscuous, but it's been an incredible bonus to rediscover, scratch that discover, my sexuality.
In celebration, I ordered Anderson’s book online. It'll make the kids' eye roll, but my ultimate hope for them is that they can have healthy, enjoyable sex lives with no shame attached.
Still, there are limits. I won't tell them my own stories – I'll save that for my friends. Because whilst my mates may not envy the pain and upheaval of divorce, they are a little jealous of the opportunities it brings for sexual rebirth. Suddenly your social currency shoots up - everyone wants to sit next to you and hear your sexploits. Those stories never get old, right?
Love midlife? Join Second Act today!
HELLO! originally launched its Second Act hub to reframe midlife and beyond as a celebratory, exciting new chapter full of endless possibilities. From inspirational tales of women who refuse to fade into the background, to valuable advice on navigating relationships, finances and health issues – we've featured them all. And such has been the overwhelmingly positive response from readers, we are now turning the hub into a FULL and FREE community where women like you can come together to shape something truly inspiring.
The cornerstones of the community will be two brand new newsletters. One monthly and one weekly. We are really excited about the monthly newsletter which will be themed and written by one of our roster of leading Second Act voices, including our editor at large, Rosie Green. The content will be reserved exclusively for Second Act subscribers .
We are also launching a monthly mentoring series, in the form of a five-minute video sent directly to your inbox featuring financial professionals, hormone specialists, life coaches and more. Again, it will be reserved exclusively for subscribers .
Below we have listed the inaugural benefits, and more will be added as we grow and shape the community. If you wish to help us shape our community, please take part in our one-slide survey here .
Member benefits
Monthly newsletter written by one of our Second Act experts
Weekly newsletter curating the best of our online Second Act articles
Monthly mentoring videos
Ask the expert
Competitions
Lots of exciting benefits to come...
Sign up to HELLO!'s Second Act newsletter today. This community is as much yours as it ours!
Get updates delivered to you daily. Free and customizable.
It’s essential to note our commitment to transparency:
Our Terms of Use acknowledge that our services may not always be error-free, and our Community Standards emphasize our discretion in enforcing policies. As a platform hosting over 100,000 pieces of content published daily, we cannot pre-vet content, but we strive to foster a dynamic environment for free expression and robust discourse through safety guardrails of human and AI moderation.
Comments / 0