Learn, Talk, & Support To Prevent Suicides

Suicides: A leading cause of death

Did you know that suicide is the second leading cause of death among children aged 10-14 and the third leading cause of death among teens and youth aged 15-24? Jaw-dropping statistics? There’s more. Even though more women than men attempt suicide, men are 4x more likely to die by suicide. While a range of causes – depression, addiction, unaddressed trauma, etc., may snowball and push a young person to the brink, it is possible for the loved ones, and community at large, to be on the lookout for symptoms and prevent this tragedy.

Suicidal thoughts do not discriminate based on age, gender, or social background and, more often than not, highlight underlying mental health issues. September is National Suicide Prevention Month and it is time to raise awareness of this crisis. The way forward is by shifting public perception, spreading hope, and removing the stigma associated with seeking help for someone battling mental health issues.

Crisis Intervention

Here is a recent example from a therapy session that called for crisis intervention.

Ria* (name changed to protect confidentiality), a 16-year-old Asian female, came for a Zoom therapy session during the COVID-19 pandemic. My first session was during the fall when it gets dark early. She took the first session from her car as she wanted some privacy that she was not getting at home. She shared her feelings of hopelessness, as her grades have been falling this semester. Her parents divorced last year, and her mother moved out of state. She missed seeing her mother regularly and was living with her father and her younger brother.

During the session, she shared that sometimes she does not feel like she wants to live anymore. She wished she could drive on to oncoming traffic and end it all!

Therapist – What did you mean by that? Do you have thoughts of harming yourself?

Ria – Maybe…

Therapist – Do you have a plan and means to do this?

Ria – Sometimes I feel like that.

Therapist – How long have you been feeling like this?

Ria – I don’t know.

Therapist – What are you planning to do after today’s session?

Ria – I don’t know, I am also scared. I don’t want to feel like this.

Therapist – Yes, it is scary when these thoughts come up. You are right. You do not need to feel like this. There is help.

Ria – What do you mean?

Therapist – There are 24-hour crisis centers around the Bay Area for youth, where you would get appropriate care. At this stage, talk therapy alone is not enough.

Ria – How do I get access to them?

Therapist – I can contact them while we are in a session, can we try that?

Ria – Yes, please.

She agreed to look into her struggles, but she did not know where to start and was willing to take the first step readily. She said she did not want to continue feeling and living like this. I had asked her if she was willing to take action right now.

Ria and I then discussed some options. While I was with her in the session, I called around some crisis centers for youth in Santa Clara County. We then agreed that she would go to Pacific Clinics (formerly Uplift Family Services), where they had space to take more patients. She then drove to the crisis clinic while she was on the phone with me, and I stayed on till she registered in the clinic.

Digital age: Stressful times

Generally, young people do not wake up one day and decide to end their life. They probably have been suffering from some form of mental illness, such as anxiety, depression, or addiction for an extended period. It is always best to have them assessed before symptoms get out of hand.

Growing up in the digital age is very stressful for teens; sometimes, a small problem for us adults may seem overwhelming to a kid or a teen. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC ) in 2021, the percentage of adults who had received any mental health treatment was highest among those aged 18–44 (23.2%). In a recent study , 1.34% of Indian Americans, the largest ethnic group among the South Asian population, reported a high rate of suicidal ideation, attempts, and suicides.

What can you do as a parent?

Express yourself: Talk about feelings and emotions at home. Home can be an excellent place for your teen to share their frustrations and challenges. Also, inform them that it is okay to seek professional mental health help if stressors are not manageable. Most teens need to be heard before we, as parents, rush to find a solution. Genuine validation de-escalates the situation and reassures the person. Having deep conversations among family members about mental health is essential. Sometimes, in our community, mental illness is considered taboo and not openly discussed.

1. Be approachable: Please tell your teen they can always talk to you about their stressors. Recognize their stressors and collaborate with them to figure out a solution. You do not need to have a solution for all their problems, but a willingness to listen, discuss and participate in finding a path forward.

2. Show them a working model: Model healthy habits for mental health. Just like you model for physical health in your diet or exercise, show them your focus on mental wellbeing. Seeking therapy, when warranted, and sharing your mental health journey with your teencan be helpful. Show your teen that you approach your challenges in a kind and forgiving way. Nothing is more powerful than that to ensure that they show compassion for themselves and empathy for others.
   
3. Be observant: In addition to checking in with your teen on a regular basis, observe if there is any sudden change in their behavior patterns in terms of eating, sleeping or social interactions. Teens may push back when you ask them about these sudden changes; it is important to be persistent and show that it is coming from a place of care and concern.
   
4. Manage social media: Almost every teen accesses one or more social media platforms. As a family, parents and teens can collaborate and determine daily usage limits of social media and other digital platforms. Remember to practice what you preach.

What can you do as a teen or a young adult?

Rely on a routine: Develop a routine that involves daily physical exercise, eating well-balanced meals, sleeping for 7-8 hours, and not using screens for at least an hour before sleeping.

Communicate: Communicating with your parents can be helpful; see them as your partners and collaborators. In certain situations, parents may not be your first choice. In that case, contact your school counselor, coach or teacher, who you can confide in. Connections can prevent crises.

Take action: Seeking mental health treatment, if needed, is a big step in any teen’s life. It takes courage to look inside yourself. It is okay to ask for help; you do not have to do this alone.

Beware of Social Media: Minimize social media and other digital platforms which could trigger emotional distress. Having a time limit every day can help you manage your usage. In a recent survey, most of the teens have shared how overconsumption creates more anxiety and depression.

Develop a Hobby: Develop some hobbies or leisure activities that are non-screen-oriented, such as baking, cooking, pottery, painting, and gardening. Some of these can calm our sensory system and can soothe and heal.

RESOURCES

Here are some crisis intervention resources in California:

• City of San Jose Crisis Line
• CA Youth Crisis Line
• About Suicide Prevention, Santa Clara County

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