"I Grew Up In A Strict Religious Culture" — 21 Stories About People Who Got Married At A Young Age Then Divorced

We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to share their stories about getting married young and then later getting divorced.

Here are some of their eye-opening responses:

Though the specific stories below end in divorce, this post is not meant to imply that all young marriages result in divorce. You can read about some success stories here and here .

1. "We married during the Vietnam War. My husband was in the Navy. Between multiple deployments and training schools, we were actually under the same roof for 18 months out of seven years married."

—71, Texas

2. "I was 19 when I married my then-husband. We were each other's 'first loves' and felt like we had to get married. The night we were married we didn't even spend our night together — he took off with his family and left me home alone. Should have been the first red flag. We were separated not long after that."

—39, Washington

3. "I was married to my first boyfriend at age 20. My parents had been each other's firsts, so I sort of grew up with a presumption of that being 'the norm,' even though we weren't even remotely religious. Living together out of wedlock was also frowned upon. He was leaving the state and wanted me to come with him, so we got married. Kids: don't get married without living together first. It was an eye-opening experience. There are so many facets of a person's character and traits that you just can't know about until they've no way to 'hide' them. I tried very hard to make it work (and to his credit, so did he), but we were just incredibly different people. Our marriage lasted two years until we finally threw in the towel."

—47, California

4. "We were college sweethearts. Everyone kept asking when we were getting married so we got married. Neither of us was anywhere near mature enough to make that kind of commitment. We argued about everything and anything. We split up after seven years and remain dear friends 30 years later."

—52, Iowa

5. "Got married at 18 after dating for three years. We rapidly learned that being compatible while we were both just high schoolers was vastly different from being compatible in the real world. I had dreams and wanted to pursue them, to get a degree and work my way up in a career, but he wasn't ready to be done being a kid. After two years of me both going to school and working full time, while he kept failing to actually get a job because he cared more about playing video games, we called it quits. I guess in the end, I thought that getting married was a sign we were ready to grow up and be adults together, but he just thought things would stay the same and he could have more time to be a kid."

— magicalcat26

6. "I grew up in a strict religious culture and believed that sex before marriage was a huge sin. So I got married at age 20 to a man that, in hindsight, was just love-bombing me and pretending to be the person that he thought I wanted him to be. As the years went on, I realized that he didn’t really want an equal partner or to even have a real relationship with me. He just wanted a trophy wife who would take care of the kids, dog, and household so that he could do whatever he wanted. I hung in there for a long time because I believed that I would be disobeying God if I divorced him. He thought that he didn’t actually have to put in any effort because he had married a good little Christian girl who would never get divorced no matter what."

"Now that I’m out, I see that he was emotionally abusive, narcissistic, and was systematically erasing my personhood. Any time that I had an opinion that wasn’t his, he said that I was being a disrespectful wife."

—41, Canada

7. "I was married at 18, my husband was 22. I was pregnant and back in the late '80s, it was the right thing to do. We were together for 10 years and had a second child in that time. By the time our seventh wedding anniversary came around, I was done. I never would have married him had I not been pregnant. We were not compatible, and I knew my kids would be better off with divorced parents rather than ones who stayed together and fought all the time."

—Anonymous, Canada

8. "I have been going to therapy for about three years now and am still working on myself so that I don't mess up my current marriage. My advice to my daughter now: DO NOT GET MARRIED BEFORE 25. That gives you time to really know yourself and what you want."

—38, Oklahoma

9. "This is gross, we met when I was 15 and he was 22. No one stopped us. This obviously was toxic and quite creepy from day one but I was a damn child and didn't know better. I'd like to think that if anyone, especially my parents, would have interfered in some way I might have seen the light."

— a-b-nana

10. "I drank the heteronormative Kool-Aid. Went to college, dated a guy, moved in with the guy, and eventually married the guy because that's what you're supposed to do, right? Lots of therapy helped me get out of there...and realize I'm heckin' gay and non-monogamous."

—35, Vermont

11. "I always said people shouldn’t marry before 30, but when my boyfriend was moving to another country we had to decide to either break up or get married. We chose to get hitched. I thought it would be a great adventure to start over in a new place with just each other for company. I loved him and he loved me too. It was a disaster. He was a nightmare to travel with and didn’t like to talk about anything so I felt very alone and miserable without friends in a strange land. He became abusive but I couldn’t leave because my job didn’t pay enough to support me. We stuck it out for 10 horrible years. I’ll never move for a man again."

—50, Canada

12. "Married in my early twenties. We were a great couple but I started to realize over the years that 'our' life was actually 'his' life. He decided where we lived, when we moved, who we could be friends with, what we could do in our free time, etc. Even when he knew a decision would severely hurt me, he’d make it with no regard for my feelings because it was part of his 'life plan.' The nail in the coffin was when he told me I could never in my lifetime own a dog. I asked for a divorce so I could live my own life because he was incapable of sharing a single shred of power with me."

—33, US

13. "I was married at age 20 and got divorced at age 38. I have no regrets about getting married so young. We just grew apart, but nobody did anything dumb to hurt the other. Life happens and people are complicated."

— pastelwitch38

14. "I met my now ex-husband at age 17 in my first semester of college. He was a couple of years older. When he proposed after a year or so I said yes because I thought that is what was supposed to be done. We had dated for a couple of years and I figured that was good enough. The real issues came in after graduating college and trying to start an 'adult life.' We couldn't agree on where to live, where to work, how to spend money etc. The final straw came when he wanted to start having kids. I was 24 and he was pushing me to get off birth control. I didn’t even have a career yet. I pushed back and we eventually split and divorced. Looking back, I wish I could have told myself (or other young people) that getting married, buying a house, and having kids is not a requirement for a happy life! Do what feels best for you, not what you think you are supposed to be doing."

—38, Tennessee

15. "I got married at 23 and was definitely not ready for that commitment or getting married for the right reasons. I don’t want to blame my faith/religion but rather the 'shoulds' and strict, oppressive upbringing that I had. So much of my value was tied to 'virginity' as a young lady, and I had hoped to wait until marriage to have sex with the right person. When that happened before marriage (around 22 years) I felt like I had to marry that person."

"Of course, that did not last. It was freeing to get divorced after years of therapy and growth and now I am feeling more in control of my life and know myself better and what I was looking for. Currently happily married and with two children with my chosen husband. I feel bad about what happened with my first husband but we didn’t know any better at the time."

—35, US

16. "Started dating in 2015 and got married in 2021 and filed for divorce in 2023. We started becoming more roommates than partners. We were best friends but the intimacy wasn't there after a while. We got caught up on being young and in love but in reality, you are not completely yourself until your late 20s!!!!! Everything changes when you get older and it is okay to leave your high school sweetheart."

—25, NJ

17. "I got married at age 18 to my boyfriend, who was 21 at the time. I was head over heels infatuated, and he wanted to join the military and was convinced the only way to stay together was to get married (he didn’t 'believe in' long-distance relationships). I was reluctant but loved him and wanted to stay together. 17 years and two kids later, plus a healthy dose of hindsight, personal growth, therapy, and mental health struggles for the kids, I finally realized it was always about control (not love) and was a very unhealthy dynamic. I got the kids and me out. He’s still actively stalling the divorce process, but freedom is on the horizon and we no longer see him."

—37, California

18. "Met my now ex-husband at 20 and married at 23. He was 10 years older and I loved how much we had in common. Turns out I wasn’t mature for my age — he was just very immature for his. After the birth of our first child, it became very clear he was going to stay the same while I would end up being the more mature, responsible one. Ten years later, I’ve successfully raised three kiddos and he still has the maturity of a teenager."

—41, US

19. "I'm a tall woman and once I started dating a man as tall as me, I felt like I needed to do whatever I could to make the relationship work because there wouldn't be anyone else. I had children and realized all the concessions weren't worth it. I divorced, found Tinder, and realized how many tall men are out there and interested in me."

—33, Florida

20. At 22, I was graduating with my B.A. and moving across the country for grad school. He (25) popped the question and I said yes. After two years of marriage, I realized that he never wanted to marry me — he just wasn't finished dating me at the time and he wanted to get out of Indiana. When he told me that he would do anything if he could go back to living in his frat house, I knew he would never grow up. I walked away."

—54, Arizona

21. And finally, "I asked him to marry me at 19 because I didn’t think I’d ever meet anyone like him again. I looked at him like he was a superhero. I was delusional and inexperienced. As we got older he stayed the same and I changed. I had many business and life opportunities that I wanted to take and he didn’t. We had less and less in common as I grew as a person. It’s hard to tell what type of 30-year-old you will be at 19. It made it hard for me to be in another relationship because I didn’t trust in myself for a very long time."

—46, Florida

Do you have a story about getting married young? Share it with us in the comments.

Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-800-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE, which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here .