‘SNL’ and Nate Bargatze Had Another ‘Washington’s Dream,’ So We Wrote Another Oral History

George Washington had two terms as president — his idea, by the way — so why shouldn’t Nate Bargatze get two cracks at sharing “Washington’s Dream” on “SNL”?

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The standup comedian hosted “Saturday Night Live” for the first time last year and it was one of Season 49’s best episodes. The standout sketch was “Washington’s Dream,” a fresh, hilarious, and ridiculous take on what the Revolutionary War was really all about. As I wrote at the time, “Washington’s Dream” was one of the best “SNL” sketches in years, an opinion that has aged as well as Bargatze himself — the man is a silver fox.

The premise of “Washington’s Dream” is as simple as it is stupid, and I do not think the sketch’s writers — Streeter Seidell and Mikey Day — would take any issue with me saying so. The skit tells us that George Washington sought independence from England for the right to discard the universally accepted and sensible metric system in favor of creating nonsensical measurements like the mile, which is 5,280 feet for no discernible reason.

This past weekend, Bargatze returned to “SNL” to host the second episode of its landmark 50th season . Also back were Washington’s dejected soldiers — Day, James Austin Johnson, Kenan Thompson, and Bowen Yang — and they needed another pep talk.

These interviews have been edited and condensed for clarity.

STREETER SEIDELL, “SNL” HEAD WRITER: We started writing “Washington’s Dream 2” over the summer. We were working with [Bargatze] on something else, so we were speaking a lot, and then we heard he was going to come back and host.

Seidell and Day are writing on Bargatze’s upcoming CBS holiday special, produced by “SNL” creator Lorne Michaels.

SEIDELL: So we started on random topics: I would just text Mikey, like, “Kindergarten/First grade.” But it’s not like we had it all written when [Nate] got here (for the week).

The end result of that text message:

Washington (Bargatze): “In our great nation, we will create schools that teach our children our ways. The first year of school will be called Kindergarten.”
Soldier (Yang): “And what will the second year be called?”
Washington: “First grade.”

No jokes cut from the first “Washington’s Dream” were used in “Washington’s Dream 2.”

MIKEY DAY, “SNL” WRITER AND PERFORMER: It felt like we should just stay away from it.

DAY: There was a suitcase one.

SEIDELL: Yeah, that was sad. It was:

Soldier: “And you put suits in a suitcase?
Washington: “No. That’s the one thing you would never put in there.”

But it was getting long.

DAY: Did we cut the buns thing?

SEIDELL: Yes, we also had a long run in there about how hot dogs and buns are sold in different quantities, but it felt like we were hanging out in that too long.

DAY: Hot dogs in groups of 10 and buns in eight.

SEIDELL: Even if you see it coming, the way Nate delivers these jokes is so funny, that you’re like, “I knew he was gonna say ‘nobody knows’ after ‘What’s in the hot dogs?'”— if you’re familiar with the rhythms of the first one, you know. But it doesn’t really hurt it because he’s so funny doing it.

DAY: His performance is funny too because he doesn’t put any sauce on it.

SEIDELL: [Nate’s Washington] is not like, “I’m proud of these ideas.” Or, “I’m confident.” He’s so just matter-of-fact in stating it. He’s not even landing them like a stand-up would land them, right? He’s sort of just tossing them off like foregone conclusions or something.

DAY: What’s so funny to me is the quote-unquote jokes of the piece are just stating what we do (in America).

SEIDELL: Again, on the page, these things are absolute bombs.

One thing that did transfer between the skits: elevating the cue cards, which allowed Bargatze-as-Washington to appear as if he were staring off into America’s unknown future.

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SEIDELL: Why learn a lesson a second time.

The “Washington’s Dream 2” set ended up being too large for the Studio 8H center stage, where “Washington’s Dream” took place.

SEIDELL: We had to build this one on the floor.

DAY: When we first blocked the piece, the boat was really small. It got bigger. The first boat was very, very tight. It looked like we were all sitting around a very small campfire.

SEIDELL: I was having palpitations when we blocked it for the first time. The larger boat was just so we could get clean shots, really, so you don’t have half of Mikey’s face edging into a shot.

DAY: George Washington also loses some of his regal stature when his knees are tucked into his chest. We wanted Nate to be able to do his crosses and not be too crowded.

SEIDELL: We honestly started with the idea of: “Oh, what if we could recreate ( Emanuel Leutze’s “Washington Crossing the Delaware” ) painting, in like a tableau?” It became very clear very quickly that you could never get a clean shot of anyone. In the painting, the people are just on top of each other… we abandoned that pretty quick.

Also larger was the sketch itself, clocking in at 5:33 vs. 4:51.

SEIDELL: There were probably two or three extra beats in it at one point and it was feeling a little long. We wanted to keep it as punchy as we could and cut three jokes that we liked. It felt like we were gilding the lily a little bit. Hopefully it doesn’t overstay its welcome.

DAY: I remember Nate saying, when we talked to him after the first blocking: “Shorter’s better. Get in and get out.” So that was definitely on our minds.

Did the studio audience recognize the setup?

SEIDELL: At dress it felt like it got no recognition at all, and that was a little like, uh-oh. It still went well once it got going. At air, definitely I could hear the recognition applause — I think it started where the people who are on the standby line usually end up sitting. I heard this little pocket of applause and then that kind of spread.

DAY: That was cool, yeah.

SEIDELL: Once Nate kind of crossed the center, it felt like a good chunk of the audience knows what’s coming or at least is aware of the original.

Will there be a “Washington’s Dream 3”?

SEIDELL: I think as long as we had the jokes and it felt like, “OK, the jokes are strong and we can think of some new moves,” like… James jumping over. As long as we’re adding to the idea and it’s not just fully beat-for-beat the same thing, I’d of course be open to it.

DAY: Who knows, maybe there could be future installments when [Washington] becomes president? There’s a lot of time to shape the nation.

SEIDELL: He was pretty involved for a good span of time there. He set the standard for you do two terms (max, as POTUS) and then you dip.

DAY: Nate’s an awesome host. We always love when he’s here.

SEIDELL: And he’s so chill. He’s so easy to work with.

DAY: He’s not a diva yet.

SEIDELL: Not yet. Maybe next time.

DAY (impersonating Bargatze-as-diva): “I want to play (Thomas) Jefferson! Get me someone else!”