Open in App
  • Local
  • Headlines
  • Election
  • Crime Map
  • Sports
  • Lifestyle
  • Education
  • Real Estate
  • Newsletter
  • Insider

    I've made a conscious decision not to be a helicopter parent. My oldest child was walking alone to the library by the time he was in 1st grade.

    By Jane Ridley,

    4 days ago

    https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=4InQHs_0wFgkG2m00

    https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=3v3UOr_0wFgkG2m00
    A young boy walking to school on his own.
    • Jen Komaromi describes her parenting style as "free range" because she allows her kids more freedom.
    • The 51-year-old was happy for her son, then 15, to fly solo to France and change planes in Paris.
    • She said she found helicopter parenting — the opposite method of raising children — "hilarious."

    This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jen Komaromi, 51, who owns a bakery and a gift store in the Bay Area. It has been edited for length and clarity.

    My son, Jack, was invited to stay with his friend's family for a month in rural France, but the timing meant he couldn't travel with them.

    At first, I felt hesitant about sending my 15-year-old alone on two flights — he had a layover in Paris — but when I called Air France , they almost laughed off my concerns. It was almost as if they thought I was crazy.

    It was perfectly legal for him to travel unaccompanied. He didn't even need a notarized letter. The customer-service agent was so laid-back about it that I thought, "Why not?"

    My husband, Kevin, 50, and I waved him off at the airport in San Francisco in the summer of 2021. Eleven hours later, Jack texted to say he'd landed at Charles de Gaulle and was waiting at the gate to transfer to Lyon.

    It went smoothly. He returned safe and sound — proud of his independence and our trust in him.

    I didn't want to be fearful in raising my kids

    We've long held the belief that Jack, now 18, and his sister, Evie, 14, should enjoy as much freedom as possible, as long as it's within reason.

    We live in a safe neighborhood. However, I've become increasingly aware of how much fear dictates people's parenting choices. I made a conscious decision not to be fearful in raising my children.

    The idea of being a helicopter parent who monitors their every step is somewhat hilarious to me.

    When Jack was in first grade, he started walking solo from school to the library, which was pretty much next door but involved crossing a road.

    https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=2WcC2D_0wFgkG2m00
    Komaromi and her husband believe their two kids benefit from free-range parenting.

    You have to do things in stages. One of the biggest misconceptions about free-range parenting — the method we happily follow — is that you throw your kids to the wind.

    For us, it was a gradual process of baby steps. In the beginning, I accompanied him to the library. Then, I'd stay behind and chat with his teacher before catching up with him.

    After he'd built up enough confidence, he went there alone and stayed to do his homework before walking to meet us at the shops where we worked.

    Evie followed suit in terms of independence. The only thing that held her back — which, I believe, is more common in the case of girls — is not having many friends with like-minded parents. She wanted to engage in activities and adventures with other children, but if their parents won't let them, it isn't as fun on your own.

    My kids know to ask people for help if needed

    But she and Jack found their tribe. When Jack was 13, he did an all-day bike ride with a friend to a peak overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge . It was about a 60-mile round trip. Last month, Evie and her friend took their bikes on a ferry and cycled 45 miles around the bay.

    I know they'll ask for help if they need it. They've been raised to be confident in talking with strangers.

    Parenting is about being your child's first teacher. You teach them how to navigate the world, but then you have to step back and let them do it for themselves.

    Do you have an interesting story to share with Business Insider about your parenting style? Please send details to jridley@businessinsider.com .

    Read the original article on Business Insider

    Related Search

    Child independenceAir travel safetyAir FranceTraveling aloneParenting stylesBay area

    Comments / 87

    Add a Comment
    Melinda Turkolu
    1d ago
    I was not a helicopter parent. my children walked with their friends three blocks to school since first grade. I think it was a different time. There weren’t such crazies out there. Or at least we didn’t hear about them. I have raised two very independent women. And I’m so proud of their accomplishments. I did not want my fears to be transferred to them.
    Mike Flores
    1d ago
    Insider is desperate for AD revenue and Darwin Award for stupidity.
    View all comments

    YOU MAY ALSO LIKE

    Local News newsLocal News

    Comments / 0