Explaining the Genius of the Star Wars Prequels

George Lucas and his best friendDesigned in Canva

“I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.” — A Profound Genius

My little sister had never seen a Star Wars movie besides the newer ones. This, of course, could not stand. 

In preparation for Episode 9 — which, admittedly, we were not excited for — we decided to binge all the movies. From the original trilogy to the prequels, and then a brief pitstop for the underappreciated Cartoon Network saga and finally up until the 8th movie, “The Last Jedi.”

I wanted her to see Star Wars in all its greatness. The highs of “Empire Strikes Back” to the lows of Jar-Jar Binks. 

But something happened along the way. Something I did not expect.

The Star Wars Prequels were fun?!

Much like The Room and Troll 2, the Prequels are great to make fun of. My sister and I laughed our way through the entirety of all three movies (with the exception of podracing, that was cool). We laughed at little Anakin saying Padme’s an angel. Or when Emperor Palpatine turned into a zombie and threw Mace Windu out the window in Episode 3.

The Star Wars Prequels > Disney Star Wars

After leaving the theater for Episode 9: The Rise of Skywalker, I realized something: Unless you have a low IQ, you have to hate one of these new movies.

See, I knew people hated Episode 8 for destroying everything the previous film was building towards. There were others who liked Episode 8. I personally didn’t like the movie but thought it was interesting to see the series try something new-ish.

However, and at the risk of confusing everyone including myself, the latest episode, Episode 9 undermines everything that the 8th episode was trying to do.

So, what we have is an 8th episode that undermines the 7th; and a 9th that undermines the 8th. In layman’s terms, we have the exact blueprint on how to make a garbage trilogy of movies.

And if you don’t believe that the 9th movie tried to undermine the 8th, first off, did you even watch the films? Secondly, here’s how it did:

• Rose, a character that risked her life to profess her love for Finn is turned into a background character who gets friend-zoned
• Rey, who’s told she or her parents aren’t important in the 8th movie is told she’s totally important in the 9th movie. In fact, her whole lineage is one of the most important in the history of the series
• Kylo Ren is set up to be the final villain in the 8th movie with no reference at all to anyone else to take his place. Well, Kylo Ren, move over for Deus Ex Machina Emperor Palpatine
• The Rebels have their entire fleet destroyed by the end of the 8th leaving around 20 people. Yet in the next film their back in business with an entire army and fighting as usual. No explanation needed, I guess
• The “Holdo Maneuver” (when Laura Dern kamikazed a starship into a star destroyer) is brought up by name and swept under the rug. “That’s a one million shot” I can vaguely remember being said in Episode 9

The 9th movie is awful on its own. It’s rushed, messy, and lacks any nuisance that made the original movies great. However, from the standpoint of being the last movie in a trilogy, it’s even more garbage.

No, That Doesn’t Mean The Prequel Trilogy is Good

Video from YouTube

The Star Wars prequels aren’t good because the new movies are bad. Yet, the prequels do have something that these new films sorely lack: Soul.

You can tell that the old films came from someone with a vision. Albeit that person was a crackpot, who also essentially flipped the finger to his fans, and became obsessed over special effects instead of storytelling. Nonetheless, George Lucas still had a vision (and insane ideas).

The new Disney movies, however, were directed by a board room who couldn’t agree on a single thing.

Rian Johnson, the director of the 8th film, did seem to have his own ideas, but they ultimately sent the franchise off a cliff. And J.J. Abrams, the director of the 7th and 9th movies, is a puppet and a hack. Abrams excels in visual storytelling but has no talent for writing a compelling story.

Also, can you believe they got the screenwriter for Bat Man V. Superman to write Episode 9? You can’t make this up people.

Maybe the idea of milking Star Wars to death was so tantalizing that the team got ahead of themselves before creating a plan. Either way, now the product is cheapened — it’s a hooker on the street that Disney will pimp out until we’re all dead.

So yeah, the Prequels suck, but they’re far more entertaining than the garbage that Disney put out.

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