Wall St. CandyPhoto byJhayne from Flickr

I stepped onto Wall Street expecting 100+ hour work weeks, hyper-competitiveness, most guys bald by 30,and the irony of learning I could make more money by trading on my own using skills I had gained from YouTube.

And … yes! That’s how Wall St. works.

But it isn’t the soul-sucking Mike Judge’s Office Space environment. It’s morelike an NFL team that’s addicted to Adderall.

The stress to perform is crazy. In the three months I’ve worked here, six people have already been fired. I’m probably next.

It’s a weirdly evil place. But it teaches you a lot.

So, in this madness, I wanted to share 5 things I’ve picked up talking to traders at bars, co-workers and my tidbits of — what I hope is — wisdom.

1. There’s a Matrix (and it’s not what I thought)

There’s an issue with chasing dogmatic success on Wall St. and in most Western Countries.

A trader of over 20+ years taught me this at a bar called the White Tavern. He saidyour problem is that you assign materialistic values to your life: wealth, hot women, and family.

So you have more power over your fellow men and fuck hotter women.

Are you any happier?

Is thatyourdefinition of success?

What he left me with, which I think is very powerful, is how can you “make it” (a term coined by the people who want you to stay in the rat race, btw)when you’re chasing someone else’s definition of success.

What is “making it” for you? Is it money, a purpose, a family charity, things? Think about it.

2. No Boss Is Worth LosingYour Mental Health For

I was trying to find a way to articulate this,and

Tim Denning did it best on LinkedIn, writing, “No boss is worth losing your mental health for.”Tim also told me not to apply for jobs at the end of the year because everyone is on holiday. Now I work on Wall St.

Soo I guess don’t listen to everything that Tim guy says.

(kidding Tim!)

Wall St. taught me to pick your damn sacrifice.

Some people are born to dedicate their first 60 years and prove to the corporationthat they deserve to be on the “partner track.”They are proud of their sacrifices, their perpetual dark rings around their eyes, their divorces due to never seeing their families or take a vacation, telling others they never ever took a vacation for bragging rights.

Lugging a $350 Tumi bagand doing endless corporate presentations and being told you’re not good enough every step of the way.

Work is a habitual sacrifice.Wall St. people get paid a lot. They also die early. Make the sacrifice that makes sense for you, for your life.

3. Making Money is Easy

My boss, who makes ten times what I make, taught me this.

Making money is easy and intelligent, overanalytical people struggle with it because they paralyze themselves with their dumbass perfectionism.

He’s former military, so he doesn’t care about offending people.

If you look at most rich people — there’s even a documentary about it — they credit theirgenius to not overthinking anything. To being “dumb.”

As Hunter Thompson wrote:“A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitablyhave his choice made for him by circumstance.”

Simply realizing that you’re indecisiveputs you ahead if you’re willing to work on fixing it.I hear film directors wear the same outfits daily because it’s one less decision they must make.Don’t be too smart to live.

4. How Many Tabs You Have Open Reflects Your Lifestyle

Are you reading this on a device with multiple tabs open?

Close them all.Having many tabs open is a sign of a disorganized anddeeply unhealthy mindand can only be fixed with a scorched earth policy.

Scientists have shown that airline pilots map theirbiomechanics onto the airplane they’re flying; the machine becomes you. The same is true of your laptop. So if it’s disorganized, you’re disorganized.

Here on Wall St. everyone has multiple monitors, 100s of tabs open, and multiple devices. No wonder everyone has clumps of hair falling out.

Have good tech-hygiene and your mind will thank you for it.

5. Do Lots and Lots of Cocaine

Adderall (aka oral meth) is like candy on Wall St. And I get why.

Much like how strongman Ronnie Coleman abused steroids or how some NFL players sneak illegal substances, everyone is looking for an edge.

Some people sacrifice their bodies for their work. It’s common on Wall St.

I don’t think every top job is like this. I’ve been around a lot of really healthy, successful people. But I do think if you want to stay true to who you are, it takes twice the discipline in professional circles like these.

Final Thought

Don’t fall for the social dogma that you need (x) to be happy or successful in life.You might not think that type of programming controls you, but it does. It’s at a deep level.

Working on Wall St. crystallized these lessons for me.

A lot of it is nothing new. Yet working in a real-life American Psycho (I watch people pay with American Express Platinum cards all the time) makes you think about your life choices.

Be the master of your own kingdom and good luck.

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