Married Woman Claims Extramarital Affairs Strengthen Her Marriage

Stock photo by Ivan Samkov

While most people around the world would today shudder at the thought of extramarital affairs, 28-year-old Alexis Watts and her 35-year-old have a special arrangement. Alexis dates other men and is involved in multiple relationships, which she says is the secret ingredient to her successful marriage to Christopher.

Although Alexis met her husband Christopher at a party after the breakdown of her first marriage, the couple was happy up until Alexis said there was “something missing in the relationship.” As a result, Alexis, who was then pregnant with her fourth child with Christopher, convinced him that dating other people would enrich their marriage.

While Alexis and Christopher’s arrangement is bewildering enough, she also has a boyfriend whose romance she says grounds her and her husband’s relationship, as the experience allows her to communicate better with her husband, Christopher.

As incomprehensible as Alexis’ claims are, 15% of married women and 25% of American men admit to engaging in extramarital affairs, whereas 50% of Americans going through a divorce result from infidelity.

According to psychologists, infidelity, besides being universally condemned, the practice is persistent and cross-culturally prevalent. However, for couples like Alexis and Christopher, having other relationships is a means to fill the void that cannot be met by their significant other.

Nevertheless, what’s even more surprising is that Alexis’ boyfriend is a married man. Regarding how jealousy factors into her relationships, Alexis said,

“We get jealous, we’re human and it’s a natural emotion. It doesn’t have to be a bitter and defensive emotion, it’s how you deal with it that’s important. It’s made us grow as we learn how to communicate around it. It’s essential to identify what makes you jealous and what you need from your partner. It’s quite therapeutic.”

While it’s strange to suggest that married people need to date other people to be able to talk to each other about their problems and work them out, what’s even more bizarre is that Alexis works as mental health therapist. At the same time, her boyfriend is also a health therapist. Speaking about how her boyfriend helps her, she says,

“My boyfriend meets needs my husband can’t. For example, he’s a therapist so we have deeper conversations.”

Although there is a lot at stake for Alexis and Christopher, considering they are a large family and have a baby on the way, the couple struggle with acceptance though it’s not what you might think. Alexis’ family accepted and came to terms with her strange situation and supported her. Despite that, unfortunately, she lost one set of grandparents because they couldn’t get past her marrying a black man.

Alexis currently uses social media to educate people about her strange lifestyle. She knows it will take a lot, but she doesn’t mind talking to people about her life and experience. On people’s curiosity, she says,

“I always respond with kindness and encourage people to ask questions in a polite way. My family are supportive, they were confused and wanted to make sure it wasn’t a phase at first but they’re on board now. I lost one set of grandparents but that wasn’t due to polyamory, it was because my husband is black.”