Those Red Flag Moments

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Red flag moments happen when something tells us that we should stop or proceed with caution. It could be something someone says or does, or it can be a gut reaction or intuition that tells us something is not right. The best thing we can do when we experience a red flag moment is to eliminate ourselves from the situation if possible because they are usually portents of worse things to come. Even though we might know red flags in life are serious warnings, most of us have ignored one at one time, or failed to see it until the flag turned into a train headed straight our way.

What are some examples of red flags? They are referenced often in relationships, but red flags can involve every aspect of our lives, and most of the time we should heed the warning. Here are a few examples.

Your boyfriend tells you he doesn’t know if he will ever be able to love you as much as you would like. You ignore that statement and continue with the relationship to find out that what he was trying to tell you was that he can’t ever love you as much as he loves himself. Everything will always revolve around him, and he doesn’t have much emotion left for you.

Another red flag is when someone tries to control everything you do. There are rules for everything including how you dress, who you see, what you eat, and where you go.

If someone has anger issues and shows anger towards you, anyone else, or an animal, this is a sign they have not found a way to properly channel emotions and it is a large red flag.

When someone has a history of infidelity, don’t assume you will be the person that will be treated faithfully.

When someone has no connections with others, or he tries to eliminate your connections, a red flag is waving.

When someone always plays the victim and is always blaming others for his mistakes, you should proceed with caution.

If someone feels that she does everything better than anyone else, and constantly wants to show you what you did wrong, you should see red.

If you feel exhausted after interacting with someone, that is a red flag to not proceed with the relationship.

If there is a complete lack of communication, you need to rethink the situation.

If you are faced with red flags, here are some action steps to take.

· Don’t think you can change someone’s mind. If someone says, “I don’t want children.” Don’t think you can marry this person and convince him to have children.

· Don’t take it personally. When someone is toxic, it isn’t because of something you did.

· Stay calm and remove yourself from the situation.

· Ask for support if necessary.

· Limit contact when possible.

· Set boundaries.

· Know when to leave

Remember to listen to your instincts, and watch for those red flags!