Tips to Avoid Drama

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When I say the word drama, I’m talking about silly, emotion filled squabbles, not a serious life situation. Drama drains you, disturbs your peace, and causes misunderstandings. It can also often be avoided. Here are a few things that have worked for me.

Don’t engage

It takes 2 people for a drama to happen, so if you can breathe before reacting and tell the drama starter that you are not going to participate in this scenario, you will save yourself a lot of chaos. I have a friend who broke up with his girlfriend. The girlfriend cheated on him and made sure everyone knew because she wanted to make him jealous. My friend found out because her son’s friend told her what happened. My friend told her son’s friend what that said about the girl’s character. The son decided to begin dating the girl again. Here is the texting conversation between my friend and her son yesterday.

Son: Mom, Alison wants to come over and hang at our house.

Friend: Okay.

Son: But mom, she feels awkward because you said some mean things about her.

Friend: Son, I don’t care.

I’m not sure what the son was looking for, but my friend was determined not to engage and that helped her maintain her peace.

Respond without emotion

Nothing makes a dramatic pot stirrer go crazier than when he does not see the reaction he hopes to obtain. It makes him so sad that he cannot stir up your emotions. Maintain your calm when you respond, (if you want to respond at all).

Don’t make it personal

When a drama occurs, there are often personal attacks. Don’t take these personal because most dramas are about something beside you. If you have the energy, see if you can unearth what the real issue is.

Draw your boundaries

Dramatic people need boundaries. Tell them what behavior you are willing to accept and what you are not. Let them know the consequences of their actions.

Be a model of behavior

Especially if the pot stirrer is one of your children, there is a potential that you could teach her better behavior by the way you respond to drama. I’ve seen someone change dramatically when she realized the toll that drama was taking on herself and others.