Throughout all the time in a toxic friendship, it became too much. I found myself face to face with another long novel of a text message from them. I had upset them deeply, and I needed to repair this friendship.
You teach people how to treat you, but that doesn’t mean it’s an easy fix. Nor does this mean there is something inherently wrong with you. Our upbringing shapes our lives in ways that aren’t always clear until age.
And this is the boiling point that we fall into, where we notice how much a toxic friendship takes out of us.
It was all on my shoulders.
I needed to do something to fix this friendship — it was solely on me.
How can you stay happy when someone isn’t going to treat you with the respect you deserve?
All that is endured during your friendship comes to a breaking point.
Nobody can control who you are friends with, nor will they dictate how you get to act.
There comes the point where I always felt like I was walking on eggshells around them. I didn’t know what would set them off — I wasn’t free to be myself.
Was this friendship really worth saving?
This wasn’t the first time this had occurred, and it wouldn’t be my last. It all came to a point where I needed to decide whether to stay or go.
I had to really discuss whether this would be worth the pain.
That was a mistake that I made throughout my years.
No one is allowed to make you feel inferior. At the end of the day, we are all human beings, created in the same way.
“You may frequently feel sad, scared, frustrated, or angry, but may push these feelings away because you are accustomed to putting your friend’s needs first,”says Suraji Wagage, Ph.D., on Prevention.com.
Know that no one can deem you less than them; their perception of you is not reality.
I don’t care how long you’ve known me, how much we have in common, or all the fun we used to have — how you treat me matters.
How can I be happy when I’m stuck in a toxic friendship that leaves me drained and feeling worthless? We are faced with lessons from the relationships or friendships we enter into.
Do we continue on or try something different?
Learning lessons and setting boundaries
After I was able to move on from this friendship, I was determined to never let this happen again. What would I take from this friendship, the complex parts that kept me away?
I needed to understand what was best for me — and act accordingly.
Boundaries are something that I learned about when I got out of any toxic friendship. I needed to be careful and watch what type of relationships I enter into in the future.
I needed to make a clear list of what my boundaries were.
Establishing those boundaries with new friends allowed me to have the friendships and relationships I truly wanted. My friendships became fruitful rather than destructive.
Why boundaries matter
Boundaries matter because you are in control of your life and who you want to talk to. If you ever wonder if a boundary is appropriate or not, ask yourself this: if they were setting this boundary with me, how would that make me feel?
If someone doesn’t respect your boundaries, they aren’t worth the effort.
Making your boundary list
What do you want from a friendship? Take this time to understand what you want and how you want a friendship with others.
What would I need to do to keep myself safe and aware?
Make a list of what you expect and desire out of a friendship. What kinds of things do you like to do for fun that you would like to do with a friend?
What are some rigid boundaries that have no wiggle room? This is what is really important to you and is non-negotiable.
What are some things you want?
Setting and enforcing your boundaries will help you keep yourself safe and assertive. Know what you want and make sure that you are treated the way you deserve to be treated.
If this person can’t respect your boundaries, then there isn’t any room for them in your life.
Author's Note:Hi again! Thanks for reading! If you liked this story leave a like, comment and follow! I always love reading your comments, so hello! :)
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