Things to Never Say or Do When Dealing with a Narcissist

Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally exhausting and confusing. Narcissists thrive on control and manipulation, and their behavior often leaves others feeling powerless.

If you find yourself entangled with a narcissist, whether in a personal or professional relationship, knowing what not to say or do can help you maintain your sanity and protect your emotional well-being.

Here are some key points to keep in mind:

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Don’t Expect Empathy or Understanding

Narcissists lack genuine empathy. When you express your feelings or share your experiences, they might pretend to care, but their responses will likely be superficial or self-serving.

Avoid seeking emotional support or understanding from them. Instead, confide in trusted friends or a therapist who can provide the empathy and support you need.

Don’t Engage in Arguments

Arguing with a narcissist is a losing battle. They excel at twisting words and turning situations to make themselves look better. Engaging in arguments only fuels their need for control and validation.

Stay calm, state your points clearly, and disengage from the conversation if it starts to escalate. Remember, your peace of mind is more important than winning an argument with them.

Don’t Take Their Bait

Narcissists often provoke others to get a reaction. They might say hurtful things or create unnecessary drama to draw you into their web of control. Don’t take the bait.

Responding emotionally gives them power over you. Practice emotional detachment and respond with neutrality or simply walk away from the situation.

Don’t Fall for Their Flattery

Narcissists use flattery as a tool for manipulation. They will shower you with compliments and praise to gain your trust and compliance. While it feels good to receive compliments, recognize that their flattery often comes with strings attached.

Stay grounded and critically assess their motives behind the praise.

Don’t Reveal Your Vulnerabilities

Narcissists exploit vulnerabilities to maintain control. Sharing your insecurities or weaknesses gives them ammunition to manipulate you. Be cautious about what personal information you share with them.

Build a support network outside of your relationship with the narcissist to discuss and work through your vulnerabilities safely.

Don’t Expect Them to Change

Hoping that a narcissist will change their behavior or become more empathetic sets you up for disappointment. Narcissistic traits are deeply ingrained and unlikely to change without significant self-awareness and professional help, which most narcissists resist.

Accepting this reality helps you adjust your expectations and focus on what you can control—your own responses and boundaries.

Don’t Ignore Boundaries

Narcissists often push boundaries to test and assert their dominance. Firm boundaries are essential when dealing with them. Clearly define your limits and consistently enforce them.

Don’t let guilt or manipulation tactics sway you. Protecting your boundaries is essential for maintaining your emotional well-being and autonomy.

Don’t Seek Validation from Them

Narcissists crave validation themselves, and rarely give it to others. Seeking their approval or validation puts you in a vulnerable position. Instead, cultivate self-validation and seek affirmation from healthy, supportive relationships.

Trust in your own worth and value without relying on the narcissist’s opinion.

Don’t Get Caught in Their Triangulation

Narcissists often use triangulation to control and manipulate those around them. They may pit people against each other or create jealousy to maintain control.

Recognize this tactic and refuse to participate. Maintain open communication with others involved and refuse to let the narcissist’s manipulation divide you.

Don’t Internalize Their Criticism

Narcissists often project their insecurities onto others through criticism and blame. Understand that their negative comments reflect their own issues, not your worth. Don’t internalize their criticism.

Remind yourself of your strengths and achievements, and seek feedback from trusted individuals who have your best interests at heart.

Key Takeaways

Dealing with a narcissist requires emotional strength and resilience. By knowing what not to say or do, you can protect yourself from their manipulative tactics and maintain your mental health. Focus on building a support network, setting clear boundaries, and nurturing your self-esteem. Remember, you have the power to control your responses and safeguard your well-being.

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/deal-with-narcissist/

https://www.oprah.com/inspiration/amy-brill-8-things-never-to-say-to-a-narcissist

https://kimsaeed.com/2019/07/16/5-things-to-never-do-if-you-think-youre-dealing-with-a-narcissist/

https://www.anchortherapy.org/blog/8-tips-for-dealing-with-a-narcissist-nj-nyc