Former NFL quarterback Ryan Leaf shares his story of struggling with addiction & journey in recovery

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. – Ryan Leaf was destined to be a star, but instead of a lucrative career in football, an addiction to pills took him from the top of his game to rock bottom in a prison cell.

Leaf was the second overall pick in the 1998 NFL draft, right behind Peyton Manning. Today, he is living a life of sobriety and publicly talking about his journey to help others.

His travels recently brought him to central Arkansas, where KARK’s Laura Monteverdi had a chance to sit down with him and talk one-on-one about the moment that changed everything.

When Leaf appears in front of a crowd these days, it isn’t on a football field. Instead, he’s taking the stage to tell his own story .

“I like the guy I see in the mirror,” Leaf said. “I didn’t for the longest time.”

The 48-year-old has come a long way from his playing days and the headline that used to haunt him.

Laura Monteverdi: “People think of you often as the biggest NFL bust. Is it hard to get past that?”

Ryan Leaf: “It’s not for me. For me it was just a matter of accepting it, acknowledging it, removing the resentment from it and kind of taking its power back.”

He’s doing that by traveling the country and opening up about his journey to sobriety after a long battle with substance abuse and mental health issues. Most recently he spoke at the Arkansas Peer Recovery Conference in Benton.

“I thought the end all be all would be, ‘Just don’t be here anymore. No one wants you here,’” Leaf said.

His drug addiction led to multiple arrests and a suicide attempt.

“Luckily, the sheriff’s office showed up and saved my life,” Leaf said.

Today, Leaf is 14 years substance-free, married and a dad of two.

“Ironically enough, I’m more confident now with all that baggage and BS than I ever was as a starting NFL quarterback, which is crazy to think, but it’s true,” Leaf said.

He is sharing his story to give others hope and end the stigma he says is creating a barrier for those who need help.

“If it has to be me talking about it, ripping off my scabs in front of everybody to say, ‘It’s okay, I’m in remission, I’m treating it, I’m doing it the best way I can, it’s okay to have and deal with this,’” Leaf said.

For Leaf, it’s become a purpose bigger than anything a football career could ever provide.

“Ironically enough, as a narcissist, you believe that to make your life better it has to be about you and in reality, when you make it about other people, life actually gets better,” Leaf said.

Monteverdi: “How do you want to be remembered?”

Leaf: “As a good father. As a faithful and honest husband. I’m more used to people identifying me as this, excuse my language, piece of s***. To build that self-esteem around the idea that who you are and what you’re doing is purposeful and meaningful. Maybe when I’m like 75 I’ll have this thing figured out.”

FULL INTERVIEW WITH RYAN LEAF

For the latest news, weather, sports, and streaming video, head to KARK.