‘Never heard about this level of domestic violence’ until Hawaii: Schofield resident

HONOLULU (KHON2) — A missing pregnant military wife and the dependent of a service member found dead inside a home on base are shining a light on what some fear is an increase in domestic violence in the military.

Both victims and advocates are saying more needs to be done to help those in abusive situations.

“Do you think that things are getting worse,” KHON2 asked military spouse Natalie Tocco.

“Yes, I do,” Tocco replied.

Tocco has been stationed at Schofield Barracks for a decade and said the number of abusive relationships she has encountered in her community alone is unsettling.

“To be honest it’s been pretty shocking,” she said. “I never heard about this level of domestic violence and homicide, as we have since we’ve been stationed here.”

According to the Domestic Violence Action Center, calls to their helpline have increased overall this year, but they cannot confirm if the number of calls from military are up.

“The data for domestic violence or intimate partner violence in our military community is severely limited,” DVAC CEO Monique Ibarra explained. “And that could be, for a couple of reasons. The way the military collects and shares information.”

KHON2 sat down with Danielle, a former military wife, who escaped an abusive relationship.

“Looking back on it, there were some signs where I would try to talk to him on the couch and he’d raise his hand very quickly at me, but I never really thought he would hurt me,” Danielle said.

She said things got physical when she confronted him about having an affair.

“There’s a back and forth tussle between the front door and the back door and then finally he just shoved me, the phone went flying, and I hit the dining table and it moved probably a good foot,” she said choking back tears. “And there was lots of yelling and screaming. At that moment is when he stopped, he paused, and I was able to flee the house.”

She said she knew if she stayed it would only get worse. But getting help as a military spouse wasn’t easy.

“It was treacherous to navigate,” she added. “I feel like spouses definitely need more support. We have victim advocates, but half the time I was calling it was so hard to get an answer. It would be a day later. It’s not enough.”

Seeing Mischa Johnson’s story and the recent news of another military dependent found dead, Danielle said more needs to be done to prevent more deaths.

Her hope is that an outside entity will step in to help the victims and provide more accountability.

“Because there’s many people struggling in this battle who don’t know what to do or what the next option is.”

If you or anyone you know is in an abusive relationship and needs help, you can call the Domestic Violence Action Center at (808) 531-3771. They can help you find resources, information and help if you need a safety plan. The toll free helpline is (800) 690-6200 and you can also text (605) 956-5680.