You shot a personal best. So what? | Let’s Play Nine! Vol. 03

EL PASO, Texas ( KTSM ) — Maybe you’ve heard the line “maturing is realizing” before. That phrase is usually followed by something that you would not have thought when you were young or young of mind.

If you’re not young of mind or body anymore, prepare yourself for what I’m about to say next.

“Maturing is realizing” memes are really popping off on TikTok right now.

One user posted, “Maturing is realizing going 75 [miles per hour] in a 45 [miles per hour zone] doesn’t make you look cool.” The speeding tickets I got in my 2006 Honda CRV would tell you I agree with this.

Another user said, “Maturing is realizing that Voldemort was evil, but wasn’t the real villain. Dumbledore was.” Seeing as this is a golf blog and not a Harry Potter blog I’m going to leave that one alone. I don’t have nearly enough time to explain the misjudgment here.

How about one more?

“Maturing is realizing that your golf score is a pretty poor way to determine how good or bad you played.” I wrote that one.

I’ve had this realization before, but perhaps not more fulfilling than the last few weeks.

I recently shot a personal best nine-hole round around Painted Dunes Desert Golf Course in Northeast El Paso. I made it around in three-over-par. Not bad, right?

A week later I did even better. Same nine, one shot better, two-over-par.

Dang Ian, you’re on fire!

Then, three days after that, I did four shots worse. Six-over-par around nine holes. It’s a pretty substandard round, even for a downward trending 12 handicap like myself.

Those three rounds, at first glance, tell a story.

Three-over-par suggests that I played quite well. If you were just looking at the score, you would assume I made plenty of pars, hit plenty of greens, and probably drove the ball fairly accurately. Two-over seems to suggest the same thing. Maybe I made a birdie out there and was able to get up-and-down a few times to keep my momentum up. However, six-over screams “meltdown.” It screams unsteady iron play and weak-kneed three-putts.

If you’ve been to Painted Dunes before, you might be getting flashbacks of digging through the desert sands after your drives went wayward and you ended up making double bogey. You might even be thinking that if you’re striking the ball poorly it would be very easy to shoot six-over-par around there.

Maturing is realizing that most of those statements are very misleading.

Out of the three rounds that I just mentioned, the round that ended at three-over might have been the worst I hit the ball. Through the first four holes, I was actually one-under. Call it the yips, call it being mentally weak, call it (as they say on TikTok) “negative aura,” but whatever you say, I collapsed after that.

I made a green in regulation (GIR) on the hardest of those nine holes, then promptly three-putted for an imbecilic bogey. After that hole I, as Tiger Woods once said, “presented hosel first” a few times off the fairway and didn’t make another GIR coming in.

My final four tee shots went like so – a vicious three-wood pull-fade that miraculously found short grass, an equally hideous pull-fade with my driver that dove straight into the desert, an uncommitted gap wedge on a short downhill par three, and a final booming drive that resembled a rogue intercontinental ballistic missile more than a golf shot. Only one of those found a fairway or green.

My final five holes consisted of four bogeys. Yes, the score only came out to three-over-par and a personal best, but definitely not how you want to come back to the clubhouse.

The next week I shot two-over-par. It was a stroke better, but a very different round than before.

I opened the round with a skied four iron that probably only went 150 yards. I promptly hit a 210-yard five iron to 10 feet, two-putted, and walked away with a par that was more taxing on my mental health than a 360-yard par four should be worth.

That stress must’ve lingered to the next shot when I bladed a seven iron about 10 feet short on the following par three. A duffed chip and two putts later, I was in for a double.

Needless to say, it was time to lock in.

Well, consider me the CEO of the Locked-In Company because I didn’t miss a fairway coming back in. I was able to play an even par round through the last seven holes, featuring a bogey on the index-one hole, and a long birdie putt on the short par three eighth.

Result: good. Process and ball-striking: so-so.

Despite shooting another personal best, and walking away with a smile and something to write home about, it was not a round that I could consider “complete.” My short game (especially my chipping), which is usually a strong suit of mine, let me down on more than one occasion. On the par three second, I hit a pair of decelerated chips. On the long par four fifth, a chip well short of the hole forced a two-putt bogey – one of many deadly sins to kill good scores.

My latest walk ended six-over-par. Admittedly, I do not consider that a very good score for a player of my caliber, but it might have been the one I was most proud of.

I made two bogeys and two double bogeys in the first four holes. I hit one fairway in regulation (FIR) and didn’t hit a single GIR. Eight putts later I was ready to throw in the towel. I didn’t and remembered how I had battled back the week before. From there on out I crushed the ball. Sure, I didn’t hit every fairway, but I hit three out of the last five greens to give myself plenty of chances to make those strokes back up. After putting eight times in the first four holes, I made the same amount over the last five – including two one-putts to save par.

Maturing is realizing that the score doesn’t always show how well you played.

When it comes to playing golf, part of what brings me joy is when people who rarely (or don’t ever) play watch me hit the ball. Or when I’m on the driving range and someone stops what they’re doing to watch me swing or hit the ball. It’s about them experiencing something different. Recently, I’ve realized score is just a small part of the equation.

I am rarely asked, “How did you score?”

More often, people will ask, “How are you hitting it?”

Maturing is realizing that people don’t actually care how many red numbers you’ve put on your scorecard.

Golf, especially at the recreational level, is more about the pursuit of finding nice feels. It’s more about making consistent and crisp contact. It’s more about pulling off hard shots and playing to the best of your ability.

Years ago, I heard my aunt tell an old pastor of mine a story about her experience at a summer camp in her youth – which at the time was probably about 30 years in the past. She told him how much fun she had, how happy she had been during the camp, and how awesome all of the counselors were. She ended the story on a surprising note.

She said, “I don’t remember a single word to any of the songs we sang or any of the crafts we did. But, I really remember having so much fun.”

My pastor gave a soft smile and told her, and indirectly all of us in the room at the time, “People always remember how you make them feel.”

Golf is about the experience, it’s about the sights. It’s about the sounds. It’s about the journey. It’s about how it makes you feel.

There are no cuts when you’re out with your buddies. There’s no FedEx Cup at stake when you get together with the weekly foursome. Seeing that handicap go down on the USGA app might be nice. And telling that one guy who always outdrives you that you just beat his best score might be cool. But, nothing is better than knowing your game is trending in the right direction and you’ve been playing stress-free and fun golf.

Maturing is realizing there’s more to your golf game than that one number in the final box on your scorecard.

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