In love at the Lake Oswego Adult Community Center

Steve Unger and Dustin Carsey have been together for 30 years and married for the last dozen. Both were longing for a meaningful connection when they met in San Francisco after Carsey responded to a classified ad Unger placed in a local LGBTQ+ paper.

Unger’s ad proclaimed “Hey Look Me Over!” a reference to the Lucille Ball and Paul Stewart showtune, which immediately caught the attention of theater-lover Carsey.

While most of the ads in the paper’s dating section were a bit more “sleazy,” as Carsey put it, he had a hunch Unger was looking for something more.

So, the two met for dinner at La Mediterranee Cafe, and they knew they had a connection.

Carsey said other people he tried dating were usually uninterested after they learned he was a Vietnam veteran with post-traumatic stress disorder and six kids from a previous marriage.

Not Unger.

In a sense, the meaningful connection foundational to the love between Unger and Carsey mirrors the bonds formed at the Lake Oswego Adult Community Center.

The pair lauded the social connection that the ACC fosters for older people, and especially those who don’t have much connection elsewhere in their lives.

Unger and Carsey attend the ACC’s weekly conversation group and biweekly news group and regularly eat lunch at the center.

“Just to see people that show up for lunch is so touching,” Carsey said. “It’s such a variety of people, including people being bussed in from homes and care centers who wouldn’t have much other contact.”

For the retired, and particularly those who are single or widowed, finding social connection can be really difficult, Unger said.

Unger and Carsey certainly felt that in 2020 when they were forced to close the bed and breakfast they owned and operated in Portland for 20 years.

“It was because of the senior center that we were able to move out to a totally new neighborhood and start to make friends,” Carsey said.

Unger and Carsey moved to Portland in 2002 and began operating a Northeast Portland bed and breakfast called the Lion and the Rose Inn. With guests constantly coming and going, the couple always had people to talk to. When COVID-19 restrictions forced them to close the inn, that suddenly came to a halt.

The pair eventually moved to an apartment in Lake Oswego in April 2020 and soon discovered the adult community center. Though they first had reservations about moving to the suburbs, their doubts were quickly quelled as they began making friends at the community center and within their apartment complex.

“The senior center has been so welcoming,” Carsey said. “This is wonderful.”