Satire: Another Day, Another Breach of My Personal Information

It's becoming a regular thing.

Security breachPhoto byCreative Commons: Visual Content

I have no idea of the scope of the number of individuals or organizations who have my personal information. Some of them have a legitimate claim to, and others, not so much. I picked up my mail recently and had a number of notices for different family members from a company that has our medical information. It seems they had a security breach, and our information may have been compromised.

And it gets worse.

First of all, they didn’t call it a “breach,” they called it an “incident.” Sort of like chubby old guys don’t have “heart attacks,” they have heart “events.” So, they began by minimizing the situation.

After that, they mention my data that has been breached, which was primarily my medical data. That’s amazing. Sometimes my medical care givers seem to have a hard time finding my info. Maybe they should contact the hackers.

But after all of that, what really annoys me is they gave me a homework assignment.

My mission, should I decide to accept it…

As a sign of their penitence, the company gave me the opportunity to sign up with a credit monitoring company for free. For the first 12 months. They also explained how I could freeze my credit.

Once again, more work for me. And if I wanted to unfreeze my credit after freezing my credit, that would be more work for me.

If a company really wants to keep my info secure, maybe they should go back to paper records and use transcribers with poor handwriting.