Satire: Trivia Questions They'll be Asking in 2050

See if you can answer them now.

New Oscar categoriesPhoto byCartoon by Lambert-King

Are you good at trivia? Are you good at Jeopardy? How good would you be if the questions were being asked in 2054? Let’s find out. This trivia quiz is like Nostradamus meets the late, great Alex Trebek. With no further ado, let's play Futuristic Trivia 2054!

1: At 97 this man was the oldest actor to ever win the Best Actor award.

Harrison Ford. In 2038 Harrison won the award for his performance in Indiana Jones and the Nursing Home of Doom. As usual, Harrison performed all his own stunts including feeding himself and taking care of his own bathroom needs.

At the time of the award, Ford was working on another project close to his heart, Blade Shuffler.

Ford created quite a stir when he landed on a nearby golf course while attempting to fly himself to the ceremony.

2: On August 28, 2040, presidential candidate, Otis Schrump, made news by doing this in a debate.

Schrump shocked the nation when he gave a direct answer to a question. When asked how he was going to deliver on the bill of goods he promised, Schrump responded, “I have no idea.”

3: This man set a record by scoring 132 points in the 2031 NBA All Star Game.

Clarence “Basketball” Jones. Jones led the West to a 321–299 win over the East. A 46-year-old LeBron James came out of retirement and added 82 points. The game was the death nell for the NBA All Star has even the NRA decried the amount of shooting going on.

4: Desperate to end their five-war losing streak, the United States declared war against this nation in 2029.

Ishtar. Despite the fact Ishtar is indeed a fictional nation, Fox News viewing Americans were proud to embrace the victory. Many wanted Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beaty convicted of war crimes.

When confronted with the fact Ishtar is a fictional nation, these same Americans replied, “So were the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. What’s your point?”

5: Senator Strom Foghorn caught flack for using campaign money to invest in this tropical paradise.

Fairbanks, Alaska. Alaska is now known as, “The Florida of the North.”

6: This NBA star became the first player in league history to be paid one billion dollars not to play for the team he was under contract with.

Shamus Anderson. Shamus signed a five-year, five-billion-dollar deal with the Boston Celtics in 2032 but became disenchanted with management when an assistant coach suggested he get his butt back on defense.

Anderson said the karma in Boston was bad and was affecting his mental health. The Celtics decided to let Anderson stay home and cash his checks rather than risk alienating potential free agents from signing with the franchise.

7: Political newcomer, Jarvis Chance was the victim of this unusual attack by political opponents in a 2036 gubernatorial race.

Opponents accused Chance of appearing in blackface at a party during his college days. The attack proved unsuccessful when Chance pointed out he was black and that was his actual face. Strangely, opponents still used this life of attack.

8: This 2030 political slogan proved to be one of the most unsuccessful in political history.

“Johnson, for the discriminating voter,” was initially thought to be a subtle appeal to highbrow voters. When Johnson’s affiliation with the KKK surfaced, things went downhill.

9: In 2048, the US Supreme Court in a landmark decision, made these records public.

In a 27–24 decision that broke along all five party lines, the court ruled that anybody still alive and who cared, could take a peek at Donald Trump’s tax returns.

10: The New York Post won a Nobel for journalism for this action in 2035.

The Post killed a story featuring nude pictures of an 81-year-old Madonna. In an attempt to revive her sagging career, Madonna shopped nude pictures of herself to various outlets. In a rare act of benevolence, The Post bought the pictures and then killed the story.

So, how did you do? There may be more installments of this feature in the future.