Satire: Seniors' Night Out

Adjustments have to be made.

Old couple dancingPhoto byJohn Moeses BauanonUnsplash

Early in our married life, a night out was often dinner and a movie. Party animals we were not. But as time as gone on, we have slowed down from even that non-hectic pace. Last night was a case in point.

We went to a little get together celebrating some friends’ wedding anniversary. A few couples even danced. Despite encouragement/cajoling from others, my wife and I didn’t dance.

I’m not a dancer, and my wife has been dealing with vertigo. She is a fall risk right now. A friend said she would go out there with us. We declined. My feeling is that if you need a spotter on the dance floor, you probably shouldn’t be dancing.

Scintillating conversation

One thing you can do as you get older is talk. One of our friends related a story about how giving someone the finger became a thing. Apparently during medieval times when the French and English would engage in battle and the French captured some of the English, they would cut off their middle finger.

The idea was soldiers couldn’t “pluck "their bow without their middle finger. Off course, for every action, there is an equal an opposite reaction. This allegedly led to the English with middle fingers intact, flashing their middle finger to the French while shouting “pluck you!”

Sadly, I checked the story out, and it was deemed to be false.

Still, it’s good to know that someone in our circle of friends has so much interest in the origin of obscene gestures.

Going to the movies is now a math problem

Here’s how that works: A senior man with moderate prostate problems is going to a movie. The movie is two hours long. Can the man get a 44-ounce pop without having to go to the bathroom during the movie.

The answer is obviously no.

That leads to other questions and mathematical calculations. How far away is the bathroom? When is the best point of the movie to go to the bathroom? So much to consider. I now need a calculator to go a movie.