Satire: Do You Have These Pet Peeves?

These things are just irritating.

Third person speechPhoto byCartoon by Lambert-King

We all have things that get under our skin. Some of these things are pretty universal whereas others are unique to us as individuals. I’ve listed some things that bug me. See if some of these things show up on your list too.

1: People who speak of themselves in the third person.

What’s with that? The only good reason I can think of to speak of yourself in the third person is illustrated in the cartoon.So, if someone asks are you Larry Lambert, the response is, “Who wants to know?” If the answer is a bill collector, “Larry was in Florida. You might want to check there.”

2: People who get upset when you mispronounce their funky name.

I get it. All of us want our name to be pronounced correctly, but if you have a strange name, or a strange spelling of a name, don’t get mad at people who are trying, but mispronounce your name.Maybe you should get mad at whoever gave you that name.

3: People who don’t flush.

Who are these self-absorbed morons? These people should be fined for leaving a public toilet in a mess or forced to do public service. Like cleaning up public bathrooms.

4: People who honk in a fast-food drive thru.

Do they really think that will somehow get the chicken sandwich ahead of them to cook faster?

4: Unnecessary meetings.

Bosses that call for lots of unnecessary meetings to figure why we’re not getting more stuff done demonstrate a complete lack of self-awareness.

5: People who lean their seat back on an airplane.

It’s like they’re saying I don’t have enough room, let me take some of yours.The fact that their head is basically in your lap does make it easier to choke them. But that would be wrong. Keep telling yourself that.

6: People who blare the music in their car so loudly you can feel it pulsating.

And often the music is profane, if you can make out the lyrics. And the problem will often get worse as they will soon be deaf.

7: People who are habitually late.

It seems like another way of saying, “my time is more important than yours.”

8: Dog owners who let their dogs do a poop and run.

If it’s beneath them to clean up after their dog, they shouldn’t have a dog.Years ago I had a neighbor who let their big dog poop (big dog equals big poop) in my yard. On one occasion I caught the dog poised to squat and deliver. I yelled at the dog, temporarily disrupting delivery. The owner was mad because I wasn’t thrilled about letting his dog go all free range on my yard. The stupidity of some people is amazing.

9: Cashiers who shoot the breeze with a friend of theirs who’s checking out ahead of you.

Read the room people! That’s sort of a power play for people without a lot of power.

10: People who use the word “literally” when it doesn’t apply.

It literally drives me crazy. And that may or may not be the correct use of the