Fashion Faux Pas: A Guide to Avoiding Style Blunders

Do us all a favor and follow this suggestions.

Fashion tipPhoto byCartoon by Lambert-King

As I sit here writing this piece, I’m wearing myOld Florida Guyensemble.That entails shorts and a pullover shirt.But I believe they go together becausewhen I asked my wife if they went together, sheshrugged. That’s basically a nonverbal ehh, which, for me, passes for approval.

As for footwear, white socks and sketchers are my choice when I go out. While I generally don’t dress as well as James Bond, there are some things I can pass on that may prevent you from bringing shame on yourself and your family.

1:Cover your butt.

I can’t emphasize this enough.I’m not talking metaphorically, I mean literally cover your butt. This may mean wearing a belt.And for heaven's sake, if you're bending over outside, and you feel the sun warming your butt, do something about it.

2:Who wears short shorts?

Hopefully not you.I would say, if you’re wearing short shorts, don’t let them be loose. But as I think about it tight short shorts aren’t good either. Just don’t wear short shorts.

3: No white socks with suits.

I think this would go without saying, but I’m afraid not. I remember a friend of mine who would wear white socks with his suit. His lime green polyester suit.Actually, the white socks weren’t his biggest fashion issue.

4:Dress for theoccasion.

Not everything is about you. Show some respect for the occasion and host in going to a formal event. Showing up like you’re from the WWE, or Dog the Bounty Hunter may be a form of self-expression, but it’s not all about you.

5:If you don’t know what you’re doing fashionwise, play it conservatively.

For example, plaids are tricky to work with. Trying to match plaids with anything but solids is difficult. You probably can’t pull it off.

6:It’s okay to break the fashion rules on occasion.

But it’s good to know you’re breaking them when you do.

7: Whatever you wear make sure it fits well.

If your belt hits you at midthigh, something is terribly wrong. That’s how some guys delude themselves into thinking the 32x32 pants they are wearing when their waist is actually 40 inches really are the appropriate size.

8: Check your accessories.

If you look like you’ve escaped from a chain gang, you might be over-accessorized. Also, unless you’re going to a nerd convention, duct tape on your glasses is a fashion faux pas.

9:Pay attention to your shoes.

Buying good-quality shoes can actually be more cost-efficient than cheap ones. For example, it might be that it would pay to resole good shoes. By resoling, I don’t mean stuffing fresh newspapers in them.

10:Buyunderwear for comfort, not to display.

In general, people don’t want to see your drawers in public. I refer you back to point number one. Still, do yourself a favor and buy yourself some good underwear.

As you get older you never know when you will have a medical emergency and your undies will be seen by strangers.If I’m having chest pains I don’t want my drawers to be a side issue.One crisis at a time.

P S, in a related point, change your drawers often and keep them clean. My mother would be proud.

So, you may be wondering what qualifies me to give fashion advice.Well, I’ve been married for 48 years andmy wife will sometimes let me dress myself.Sometimes she even approves of the ties I select. So there.