10 Scary Things About Chernobyl

It's probably as bad as you think it is.

ChernobylPhoto byKato Blackmore 🇺🇦onUnsplash

If you’ve read much of my stuff, you know I write a lot of satire. Some subject matter is particularly hard to satirize. The Chernobyl disaster is one of them. I may inject a little humor into this piece but it’s a little harder than usual, based on the devastation resulting from the incident.

Chernobyl was in the news again when Russian soldiers became entrenched there. Those had to be tough orders to follow if you have any sense of history at all.

Russian troops withdrew after a short period of time. Were they starting to grow a second head? What are things like in Chernobyl? I did a little research. Some of the post-disaster hard events are particularly hard to take.

1: The aftermath of the blast was worse than the original explosion.

In quick summary, three workers were killed initially, while 28 died during the cleanup in the months to follow.

Radioactive follow reached as far as the UK and France. An exact number of victims is hard to ascertain. In 2005 the Chernobyl Forum estimated the deaths to be about 4,000. Greenpeace put the number at 93,000. In a variation of those car ads, your casualties may vary, but that’s ridiculous.

2: It turns out the reactor’s emergency safety systems had been turned off.

Who was working there, Homer Simpson?

3: A deadly coverup ensued.

The Soviet Union tried to keep the disaster under wraps, but Sweden actually blew the whistle on them after detecting large levels of radiation coming from the USSR. It’s hard to try to cover up something like that when the countryside is glowing.

4: Chernobyl has become a perverse tourist attraction.

Lead suits are a big seller at the gift shop.

5: The Chernobyl plant didn’t shut down for years after the disaster.

Sure, it might have been killing people and terrible for the environment, but hey, it was good for the economy. Thankfully, we don’t see that type of financially based decision anymore. Wait, being told that’s not the case.

6: The disaster has had an interesting effect on wildlife in the area.

Some species have thrived while others are plagued by deformities. In sum, it seems that mankind is tougher on animals than radiation. Unfortunately, the disaster has had devastating effects on humans. No benefits have been found for humans from the disaster.

7: People live in Chernobyl’s exclusion zone.

The number I saw put the amount at 130–150. Some of those people never left including women in their 70s and 80s who still work the family farm. I guess some people really hate change.

8: One firefighter, Vladimir Pravik, was affected by the radiation in a strange way.

It actually changed his eyes from brown to blue. Was Chernobyl the basis for that Crystal Gayle song?

9: In 2014 Pink Floyd shot a clip in Chernobyl Exclusion Zone.

I believe Pink Floyd was called Floyd before shooting that clip but I’m not sure.

10: Even wearing radiation suits, those involved in the cleanup could only work 40 seconds at a time.

That’s actually about how long I can work in one stretch now.

There are a lot of other things I could have chosen to write about but chose not to.