Judge grants 3-year restraining order against Lexington councilwoman for sexual assault

A Fayette Circuit Court judge ruled Wednesday Lexington Councilwoman Brenda Monarrez sexually assaulted fellow Councilwoman Denise Gray and entered a three-year protection order barring Monarrez from contacting Gray.

Additionally, Monarrez must remain 500 feet from Gray’s home and the Lexington government center, where both council members work.

Fayette Circuit Court Judge Traci Brislin made the ruling after a seven-hour Wednesday hearing that ended around 8 p.m.

“I believe an actual sexual assault occurred, and it may occur again,” Brislin said. “The court believes that this has happened on not one, but two separate occasions.”

Sexual assault under state statue also includes sexual abuse. No criminal charges have been filed against Monarrez.

It was not immediately clear Wednesday evening if Monarrez will continue to work from home and appear virtually during Lexington-Fayette Urban County council meetings. Monarrez has worked virtually since the emergency protection order was granted Aug. 20.

Susan Straub, a spokeswoman for the city, said Thursday city officials believe Monarrez will continue to work virtually.

Edward Cooley, Monarrez’s attorney, said after the hearing they are considering appealing Brislin’s decision. Cooley said it’s not clear how Monarrez will fulfill her duties on council while the protection order is in place.

Cooley said they will speak to the Lexington-Fayette Urban County Government.

Gray and Monarrez testified during the Wednesday hearing to determine if a temporary protection order granted in August should be made permanent.

Gray wrote in an Aug. 8 petition for an interpersonal protection order Monarrez had been sexually aggressive towards her on two occasions over three years.

An interpersonal protection order is a civil order that protects a victim from someone accused of abuse or harassment.

A Lexington Police Detective testified Wednesday the case is under investigation.

In the complaint , Gray, 45, wrote on Aug. 1 the two first-term council members went out to dinner.

Monarrez, 52, allegedly tried to give Gray alcoholic beverages. When Gray dropped her off, Monarrez “tried to kiss me. I tried to push her away repeatedly,” the complaint said.

Monarrez then tried to grab her crotch, she said.

“I was afraid and upset,” Gray said in the complaint. Gray said she yelled at Monarrez and Monarrez eventually went inside her home.

“I have never given her consent to touch me in any sexual manner,” Gray said in the complaint.

During Wednesday’s hearing, Gray, who sometimes cried during her testimony, said Monarrez kept leaning in to her on the drive from J Alexander’s, where they dined and had several drinks, to Monarrez’s home.

“Bitch, are you leaning? Why are you leaning over here?” Gray said.

After she shoved Monarrez aside, she said Monarrez then reached over to touch her vagina through her clothes.

Gray also wrote in the Aug. 8 complaint that in October 2021, she had a birthday party and invited several friends, including Monarrez. In the complaint, Gray said, “She provided drink after drink (and) offered to drive me home to my house. As she was driving, I lost consciousness.”

Gray wrote when she woke up at Monarrez’s home, Monarrez was performing a sexual act on her.

Gray said the next morning, Monarrez eventually took her to her car that had been left at a bar called Cocktails, where the two had spent much of the night.

Gray said she admitted to socializing with Monarrez multiple times after the October 2021 incident. She said she felt she had done something wrong.

“I thought it was my fault,” Gray said through tears Wednesday. “I didn’t say anything because I thought it was my fault. I’m Denise Gray. I am strong. I am smart. I don’t ever put myself in situations where I’m out of control.”

Gray called Councilwoman Shayla Lynch directly after the Aug. 1 incident. Lynch testified Wednesday Gray was so upset she was worried about her driving and made her pull over so she could tell her what happened.

Lynch, a lawyer, is also the former executive director of Ampersand Sexual Violence Resource Center, which provides services to victims of sexual assault. Lynch encouraged Gray to report the incident and also referred her to services for sexual assault survivors.

“She was very, very upset and was blaming herself,” Lynch said. “I encouraged her. It was not her fault. She was the victim here.”

Under cross-examination, Cooley asked Lynch how often Lynch, Monarrez and Gray socialized. Lynch said all three socialized outside of the city government center, often getting dinner and drinks together.

Cooley also asked Lynch if Gray kept liquor in her office.

Gray did, Lynch said.

“Does she drink during work?” Cooley asked.

“Sometimes,” Lynch said.

Gray said after the August incident, she went to Mayor Linda Gorton and Chief Administrative Officer Sally Hamilton. Both told her because she’s an elected official making a complaint against another elected official, there was nothing the city’s human resources department could do to protect her. Both advised her to go to the police.

She eventually went to the Lexington Police Department and then filed the protection order, she testified Wednesday.

Monarrez denies assaults; blames Gray’s drinking

Monarrez testified Wednesday neither incident occurred, and Gray was intoxicated on both occasions.

Monarrez testified Gray had driven Monarrez’s car after they had multiple drinks on the night of Oct. 13, 2021, to her then- boyfriend’s house at 3:30 a.m. in the morning. Monarrez said the plan was for Monarrez to stay with her boyfriend that night and Gray would take her car to Gray’s home.

Her boyfriend did not come to the door, so Gray drove them to Monarrez’s home, Monarrez said.

Monarrez said when they got to her home, she put Gray in her daughter’s bedroom, who was away at college. She slept in her own room. She took her son to school in the morning and then came back and took Gray home.

Cooley said the two had met more than 30 times between the October 2021 incident and the August incident. The two even went to two musicals in Louisville and Cincinnati together.

Monarrez said Gray never spoke to her about the October 2021 incident.

Cooley produced text messages between Monarrez and Gray a day after the October 2021 incident.

Monarrez said Gray was angry with her on the night of Aug. 1 because she would not go with Gray to another bar after leaving the J Alexander’s restaurant.

In court testimony, Gray said she only had two spicy margaritas that night. Monarrez and a server for J Alexander testified Gray had one spicy margarita and three other margaritas.

Gray said Monarrez kept ordering her more drinks but she didn’t drink them. The server testified he saw Gray drink three margaritas and that Gray ordered them.

Monarrez also produced a text message Gray sent her after 3 a.m. on the night of Aug. 2. In the text message, Gray said she felt violated. She told Gray she was not a lesbian and she did not want to have any further contact with Monarrez.

Gray also demanded an apology.

In court testimony, Monarrez said she had recently had surgery. She could not see well, one of the reasons why Monarrez asked Gray to drive that night.

Monarrez said she woke up because her nose and sinus cavities were bleeding and saw the text message. Monarrez said she only saw some of the message -- the part where Gray said she was upset.

Monarrez texted her back: “I am sincerely sorry.”

Monarrez said she thought Gray was upset about her refusal to go to the bar with Gray after dinner.

Raven Turner, Gray’s lawyer, also asked Monarrez about her drinking.

Turner asked if Monarrez had been barred from two different restaurants due to her drinking. Monarrez denied she had been barred from any restaurant.

In 2013, Monarrez was sentenced to 14 days in jail after an alcohol intoxication charge was merged with two 2012 cases of driving under the influence of alcohol. She said in 2022 : “I regret the actions that took place approximately 10 years ago or more. I’ve moved forward and live a life of love, honesty, appreciation, kindness and strength.“

Text messages and paying for drinks

In her ruling, Brislin said it’s common for victims to return to their abusers.

“I believe it’s a trauma response from Ms. Gray,” Brislin said.

Brislin said the 3:08 a.m. on Aug. 2 message from Gray to Monarrez makes it clear a sexual assault occurred. Monnarez’s explanation that she couldn’t see the entire message did not make sense, she said.

“It comes down to credibility,” Brislin said. “Unfortunately, Ms. Monarrez I don’t believe you today.”

Brislin also dismissed claims Gray was too intoxicated and misremembered events.

“That stuff doesn’t mean what she said happened, did not happen,” Brislin said.

Monarrez and Gray also testified that Monarrez typically paid for dinner, drinks and other outings. That’s disconcerting, Brislin said.

Monarrrez testified Gray was struggling financially and still living with her parents. She, too, has struggled financially at times and had friends who helped her. She wanted to do the same for Gray, she said.

Monarrez and Gray make the same salary, Brislin noted.

The ruling comes less than a month before the Nov. 5 general election.

Monarrez faces challenger Emma Curtis in the race for the 4th District , which includes neighborhoods south of New Circle Road between Nicholasville and Tates Creek roads.

Gray, who represents the 6th District, has no opponent in the general election.

Council races are nonpartisan.