The Astonishing Effects of Childhood Neglect on Adults & How to Heal

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Were you neglected as a child?

Maybe you are unsure and just thought your childhood was typical. Today, we will dive deep into examples of childhood neglect and how that affects you as an adult. If a parent neglected you knowingly or unknowingly, it may explain some of the pitfalls you may currently be experiencing.

You may wonder why your parents ignored you, why you were not enough in their eyes, or why you were not as loved as siblings. Some things can never be understood. What is important is that it had more to do with your parents and not about who you were or are today.

Childhood neglect has a profound impact on our behaviors as adults.

Examples of Childhood Neglect:

• You may not have been allowed to express negative emotions.
• There was a lack of celebrations for your victories, such as school or athletic awards.
• Being told negative rhetoric such as, "Suck it up, buttercup," "Stop worrying so much," or "Oh, just get over it."
• Lack of hugging you, telling you they are proud of you, or not tucking you in for bed.
• Not recognizing how much school bullying hurts you and not going to your defense.
• Not cleaning the house, providing clean clothes, providing food, and providing safety.

Childhood neglect is a form of psychological abuse where parents fail to provide emotional support, validation, comfort, and attention to children who need and deserve that, especially in the formative years. Sometimes, the neglect is intentional; other times, it is unconscious or unintentional.

Reasons for Childhood Neglect

• The parent may have a drug or alcohol addiction or may be coping with mental illness.
• The parent may be unable to process and express their emotions due to past experiences.
• Sometimes, a parent is ill or is absent while dealing with a sick parent of their own.
• Sometimes, one or both parents are overwhelmed with bills and work and cannot devote time and energy to their child.
• Sometimes, the child is the product of a single parent who doesn't know how to make life better for anyone.

Long-Term Effects of Childhood Neglect

The effects vary based on the degree to which your parents neglected you. The good news is that healing is possible. The healing process begins with the awareness that what happened during your childhood is not your fault and does not determine the person that you are.

Consequences & Long-Term Effects:

• Difficulty managing and expressing feelings
• Guilt & Shame
• Low Self-esteem
• Fear of rejection and abandonment
• Struggle to ask for what you need
• Isolation because you feel you do not fit in
• People pleasing tendencies
• Self-sabotaging behavior, particularly in relationships

Final Thoughts

Congratulations if you realize you were indeed neglected as a child. Not that this is something you would wish on your worst enemy, but awareness is the catalyst for personal growth. It happens at all socioeconomic levels. I grew up around very wealthy friends who were neglected because their parents were too busy in the social and philanthropic worlds.

How to Heal Those Childhood Wounds

Setting boundaries, recognizing your needs were not met in childhood, reparenting yourself, raising your emotional intelligence to be able to better express yourself, and seeking professional coaching or therapy will help you outgrow negative beliefs and patterns.

Journaling about your childhood experiences and simultaneously about what you are currently grateful for can also add perspective.

If you are in a relationship, share with your partner what you lacked emotionally growing up so they better understand your current needs.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I appreciate you and hope you share your magic with confidence. You are worthy of love and appreciation.

Peace & Light,

Libby

Positive Affirmations:

• I am enough.
• I deserved to be loved and accepted
• My challenges help me grow

"Reparenting means you provide your inner child with all the attention, validation, support, guidance, security, comfort, and love you've always needed but never got." ~Souldipity Coaching