How to Overcome Rejection Wounds With a Sense of Belonging
2024-08-25
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Fear of rejection is a common deep fear.
Do you like feeling rejected? Of course not; no one does, yet rejection is part of life. Humans are wired for connection and belonging. Fear of rejection often stems from childhood neglect, abuse, or school bullying. From the moment we are born, the doctor typically hands the baby to the mom and places it against her chest to feel that love and acceptance. We all long to be loved, accepted, and appreciated.
Being criticised, betrayed, being shamed and teased, and not having emotional needs met all lead to fear of rejection.
Once we feel rejected, we hold back what we want to say, we might abandon relationships before the other person can hurt us, and we self-sabotage. But doesn't rejection boil down to the fear of pain and hurt? It makes us feel like we are not worthy, that we might die alone, and that we are not good enough. As a result, we naturally put up an emotional wall of protection. We then lack vulnerability and the desire to commit to relationships, even though commitment is ultimately what we desire; we push it away out of fear of rejection.
Understanding the fear of rejection is crucial because it underscores the importance of social belonging in our lives. We all need to feel accepted and valued by others, and this need for social connection is a fundamental aspect of our human nature. Social anxiety is closely related to fear of rejection. Social anxiety is caused by the fear of saying or doing the wrong things, not being accepted, or not fitting in. We then find fault with ourselves, and it destroys our self-esteem.
Many times, rejection is ultimately caused by how we feel about ourselves. Our inner critic is harder on us than anyone in the external world.
How to Overcome Fear of Rejection
Hush your inner critic and practice positive self-talk.
Say positive affirmations to reprogram the subconscious.
Build your confidence.
Be gentle with yourself and practice good self-care, including proper sleep, nutrition, and movement daily.
Let go of shame or guilt from past experiences.
Breathing practices to regulate the nervous system.
Remember that everyone has flaws, and people are not judging you as much as you think.
Meet new people. Social connection is vital.
Journal about your feelings.
Find a coach who can help with exercises to build self-esteem and help raise your emotional intelligence.
Inspirational Quotes on Rejection
"Don't be upset when people reject you. Nice things are rejected all the time by people who can't afford them." ~Author Unknown
"May time reveal to you that what felt like rejection was actually divine protection; may the perspective that comes from hindsight transform regret into relief." ~ Michel C. Clark
"A clear rejection is better than a fake promise." ~Author Unknown
"If you live for people's acceptance, you will die from their rejection." ~Lecrae
It is essential to keep taking risks and keep asking. Remember, "no" is not a reflection on you. They may be busy, have something else in mind, or know you are too good for them. Keep moving forward. Stay humble, but don't let rejection break you.
This author is amazing in her articles that help people who are going through various crises. she says to "Shed those who make you feel less than, you don't want to be with them anyway". Also the quotes from poets and authors were helpful too. One of them specifically says what may appear to be rejection at first may turn out to be relief instead from being accepted by the wrong kind of person who won't be good for us or to us. We don't need to seek the acceptance of other people who are unwilling to appreciate us for who we are . . .good people.
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