How to Use the Lessons From Toxic Relationships To Improve Life

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No one likes it when life tests our limits and abilities, but everything that happens is a lesson we need. We all experience ups and downs in life, but how we behave under pressure is part of the test. Some rise above and face challenges gracefully; others lie, cheat, and manipulate. Part of our resilience comes from mindset.

I have been in several abusive relationships-two physical and two psychological. Both hurt me tremendously and temporarily broke my spirit. But I chose to rise, much the The Phoenix, and hold my head high. I chose to see the lessons I learned from these experiences as gifts to help me grow into my higher self and connect with the Divine.

One way to transition from a victim to a warrior is to look at what you have gained. This may seem counterintuitive, but I have gained a lot, including strength, depth, and so much more.

Take the good parts of the relationship and the bad, and what do you get?

• I can spot manipulations a mile away. I trust my intuition and the energy I feel.
• I learned to set boundaries. I had never heard of this before toxic relationships. Setting boundaries protects my emotional state.
• It made me grow exponentially. It kicked me far out of my comfort zone, and I survived and began to thrive.
• I learned perspective. Evil people always show their true colors, especially in difficult times. So, use these difficulties to sort out reality.
• My emotional intelligence grew as I learned how to respond rather than react, my communication and listening skills expanded, and I learned how other people's energy affects me.
• These people taught me how I did and didn't want to be treated and how to treat others respectfully and kindly.
• I learned not to be so gullible or to believe everything. Words and actions need to align.

Apart from these major life lessons, I also picked up several things that I still use and enjoy today.

• I learned how to cook a soft-boiled egg perfectly. I also learned they are delightful in half of an avocado with some hot sauce.
• I learned that the Florida Keys are one of the most beautiful places on earth, and it is far more than a party scene.
• I learned that our coral reefs are dying at a frighteningly fast rate.
• I learned how to weather a storm. Literally, I endured two tropical storms and one hurricane.
• I learned what it is like firsthand to live with an angry alcoholic.
• I made two wonderful girlfriends, my ex's two previous wives, out of this mess. One of whom I did not realize he was still married to! 😧 The lesson I learned was that women bond in times of need, and good friends always have your back.
• I learned how to forgive myself and those who took advantage of my kindness.
• I learned to use the bad things that happened to me to awaken, empower, and inspire others to live their best life.
• i learned people's true colors come out in difficult times. Until you go through a rough patch, you don't know someone well.

Final Thoughts

I wouldn't wish an abusive relationship, be it with parents, friends, or a significant other, on anyone. But it has made me a stronger, deeper person, and I now can understand others going through similar things. I am forever grateful if I inspire or help one person a day.

Life is what we make it. We are never guaranteed tomorrow, so make the best of today. Practicing gratitude daily and helping others is my antidote to the pain and suffering that I have experienced.

I appreciate you taking the time to read this. If you know anyone suffering from abuse, betrayal, or a breakup, I hope you will share this. My mom used to say, "It takes a village." I find that the more we connect with like-minded, supportive people, the easier healing happens. Praying for your comfort and happiness.

Peace & Light,

Libby