Culinary Compatibility: The Importance of Shared Food Philosophy in Relationships

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I have noticed two types of people: those who eat for pleasure and those who eat to survive. Which one are you? I fall into the eat-for-pleasure category. I have noticed how important food is in relationships and, most importantly, culinary compatibility. If you both are in the same category, that would be ideal. But, I was married for twenty-one years to someone who ate to survive, and it worked fine because he enjoyed the food I prepared and served. In this article, I will dive deeper into food philosophy and why it is critical to agree in relationships.

Understanding Food Philosophy

Everyone has their preferences. Spicy, salty, sweet, homemade or takeout, processed food or organic... You may think it is not a big deal in the early stages of dating, but those choices significantly impact your relationship and health as time goes by.

If one person loves ultra-spicy food and the other cannot stand it and needs mild, you cannot split Mexican or Asian meals. Okay, that may not be a deal breaker. But what if one person prefers high-quality homemade food and the other prefers fast food or takeout every night? That could be a much bigger problem. Those might be extremes, but they are something to consider, and it does happen.

Food philosophy is the way we think about food. It examines the meaning of food, its social role, moral and ethical decisions, and its importance in our lives. It also encompasses what tastes we enjoy or despise, how we prepare and eat food, the role of food in health, and our appetite.

My Personal Experiences and Why This Is Important

Example Number One

My ex-husband would eat just about anything I served him. But he wasn't overly appreciative or excited. I put a lot of effort into my meals, and cooking is an act of love. So, when I asked how it was, he would say, "It was fine." That was soul-crushing. But this is because he ate to survive. At the same time, he ate it all and never complained. We could enjoy fine dinners out and only eat fast food if it was the only option for traveling.

Example Number Two

I dated someone for five years, off and on. At first, he put on a good show and claimed to be vegetarian/ vegan, which matched my eating habits. I even upped my game and felt healthier around him for the first month. Then things got comfortable, and he revealed his true nature. Football season was in full swing, and he wanted to go to the bars every Sunday to eat fried food and drink beer. I put up with it for a few weeks, but I started gaining a lot of weight, and it was not my scene.

I am more of a Sunday brunch gal with high-quality food and maybe a glass of champagne or a bloody mary, not greasy food, and beer. I got tired of compromising my health and taste very quickly.

Example Number Three

I dated a man who hated onion--like I could not even bring one in the house. But he taught me how to make the perfect soft-boiled egg and put it in half an avocado with hot sauce. And I fell head over heels in love when I saw him eating olives out of the jar first thing in the morning. I love olives, and my previous two exes did not eat them. But I had no idea how much I missed cooking with onion until we broke up. He also loved using oils far more than I cook with and ate fast food quite often.

Example Number Four

I dated a man who enjoyed baking and cooking. Our tastes aligned for the most part. Unfortunately, he didn't like olives or pickles, which was a big deal to me (don't ask me why I am obsessed with this 😂). He was willing to eat vegetarian at home but ate a lot of meat out. We both enjoyed cheese and bread. He respected my tastes and preferences, and It was pretty good. We had no trouble compromising and sharing meals; we enjoyed it.

Why It Is Important

Food is important to me. As I mentioned, cooking is a way to show my love. If I do not feel appreciated for my efforts, it is hurtful. I used to dream of cooking with the man I loved together, but now I realize that was an unrealistic romantic notion. I prefer to be in the kitchen and do my thing. But I appreciate my man checking on me and being nearby to talk and laugh. And I certainly appreciate when he compliments my food and wants seconds.

Final Thoughts

It is not just what foods you eat but also how you eat. Is your partner willing to turn the T.V. off or sit with you at the dining room table? Meals are a time to share intimate conversations about your day. You don't have to love to cook or cook every night as long as you take the time to enjoy each other while you eat. Bless the food to nourish your bodies and souls.

You may not find someone who likes all the same foods as you, but that's okay. Maybe you learn new things from each other or respect each other's preferences. As long as you agree on major things like organic or non, fast food or homemade meals, and you do not compromise your health.

Being with someone who has a different food philosophy can be very difficult to live with and cause mental and physical health problems. I think compromise is essential in relationships, but not when sacrificing my health and well-being.

What are your thoughts on this topic? Have you been with someone with different food preferences or philosophies?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. You are light and love, so please keep spreading your magic.

Peace & Light,

Libby