Mountain View
Lisa Martens
When Believing You’re Special...Makes Things Worse.
When I was a child, I believed I was special because I had epilepsy. I hallucinated. I knew Joan of Arc was epileptic, and she was a Saint! So was I chosen by God to do something great? Would it all be revealed to me? Were my seizures really messages from God, and all those doctors were quacks and liars?
Trauma Healing is Annoying.
Almost eight years ago, I began working on unearthing and healing repressed trauma. At first, I thought it all stemmed from an abusive relationship. Then I found something deeper—childhood trauma was causing me to pick emotionally unavailable and even abusive partners.
3 Reasons to Stay Emotionally Unavailable (and 6 Reasons to Try)
We see a lot of information about emotional unavailability. Don’t fall for someone who is emotionally unavailable! Here are the signs that you’re emotionally unavailable! It's a warning, it's a sign that someone is damaged, it's a curse, and it's...useful, actually.
Why is Sobriety So Boring?
Here's something I realized when I went from drinking every day to not drinking at all—Sobriety was boring. Life was...boring. I was no longer dramatically flying from one extreme emotion to another. Drinking also made the time after work pass by much faster. I felt like a time traveler...I could speed up the work day and fast-forward late into the night with some liquid courage.
Can You Make a Habit of Happiness?
Many of us think of happiness as elation or euphoria. It's a fleeting feeling we constantly chase, a high not unlike a drug. But what if we had a more moderate view of happiness? What would that look like, and how would it work in comparison to how we commonly view happiness?
Take Off the Nostalgia Goggles or Suffer: 10 Important Mental Health Lessons from "F is for Family"
F is for Family is set in the 1970s...a time in the United States many people are nostalgic for. However, the show clearly shows that things were not necessarily perfect back then, either. Repressed emotions, sexism, racism, and frustration run rampant through this slice of all-American life. Dangerous items like asbestos are unregulated, and children slip through the cracks in an imperfect public school system.
10 Important Mental Health Lessons from BoJack Horseman
BoJack Horseman is hilarious, and at times way, way too real. This show about a cartoon talking horse delves into responsibility, depression, happiness, loyalty, and one's legacy. What are some of the more serious lessons the show tackles?
You Can Validate Yourself After Heartache
As social creatures, we often seek input from those around us. We ask friends and family for advice, to listen to our stories, and to comfort us. We all seek some kind of validation—Are my feelings and reactions appropriate? What should I do? This is all normal.
Anxiety: Expectations Versus Reality
There are many common misconceptions about anxiety that people run into every single day. People...like me! who struggle with anxiety confront these misconceptions all the time. It can be exhausting, but here are just a few expectations (and realities) of anxiety:
Squash Anxiety by Staying in the Present
Last night, I had an anxiety attack that kept me awake for most of the night. While my anxiety has certainly improved, it has not gone completely away...but I can manage it much better than I used to. I do not feel like anxiety is running my life.
On Recognizing (and Overcoming) Artistic Self-Doubt
Artistic self-doubt is something I've run into time and time again, in myself and in others. As a writer (who secretly always wanted to play music!), I have constantly told myself that I didn't really want to create art, that art was not useful, or that...my art was not useful.
You Do Not Have to Monetize Your Pandemic.
As a child, I felt paralyzed by pressure. I wanted to do so many things. I loved to dance, to swim, and to sing. I enjoyed writing and music. However, something held me back—the idea of competition. The idea that these hobbies had to mean something "more." Whether it was directly spoken or not, I began to internalize the idea that my hobbies had to change my life...that I had to excel, and that I had to become something great.
Why Do Some People Want You to Be Angry?
You've asked your partner not to mention a certain topic, and then they send you a news article about it. You publish something online, and people you don't know tell you that you're a lazy, terrible person. You spend the day with your mother, and she can't stop dropping hints that you should lose weight. When you snap, she looks at you with a blank expression.
What does a trauma-informed social media site look like?
A thought experiment for an internet that's good for one's mental health. As we witness a split in social media—the larger companies are attempting now to control the vast web of conspiracy theories and disinformation online—I can’t help but wonder exactly what a social media site would look like that took mental health into account.
When is it Time to "Gray Rock"?
Gray rocking. Ghosting. Fading out. Toxic people. Narcissists. Empaths. Abusers. Gaslighting. These are all words that I see a lot lately. I have definitely had issues setting boundaries in the past, and as such, people around me have taken advantage of that. On the other hand, due to my trust issues, I've also cut people out and become distant myself.
Jokes as Manipulation & Abuse
When a sense of humor is an attempt at control. My family has a great sense of humor. We love to make each other laugh, and we’re all pretty witty. However, this humor has a double-edged sword—It also is, at times, a vehicle for passive aggressive digs and remarks…remarks you can’t push up against because it’s “just a joke.”
Lisa Martens
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Personal essays, travel, entertainment, literature, mental health
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