21 Hilarious Reasons My Son Cries

boy cryingPhoto bylucee santini

I wrote this when the boys were little. It always makes me smile when I see a new mother and her child.

I was making breakfast for my three-year-old this morning. Everything was on track. The baby was in his high chair eating cheerios so happily and I was sipping on my coffee. I give him two choices and today he picked peanut butter on toast.

When I brought him the plate with toast and set it down in front of him, he started hysterically crying.

“What’s wrong?” I said.

He mumbled through the tears throwing his arms up in the air like the world was coming to an end. And it was!

Finally, I got him to calm down enough so that I could understand him.

“I want the toast big! I don’t want it cut!” he cried.

Are you serious? You're crying because I cut the toast in half? Is this some kind of joke?

But it wasn’t. He was very serious and the situation was serious. So I quickly took care of it.

“Of course!” I said. I will make another piece, okay?”

“Okay,” he cried.

Phew. What’s next?

This is the kind of stress a three year puts himself under.

Stress to me is getting him to school on time. Not forgetting his lunch. Not forgetting his brother. That’s stress. Boy, do I wish the most stressful part of my day is not having my toast cut in half.

But this is one of many comical situations (that are serious to him and should be treated as much) that I have watched over the last two years. I suppose it’s very real to them. But it all seems a little farfetched.

Must he have a meltdown because I don’t have any more money for the game machines? Is he going to die if I don’t put the Dustbuster away? Will he live if I run out of honey for his Greek yogurt? These are all real problems. But they are the problems of a three-year-old. I guess I need to tend to them like I would my problems, although I just want to die laughing. Would I give anything to have toddler problems?

So with that said, I have decided to start a list with Reason #1 today and add to it regularly. It has come to my attention that it is not going to stop any time soon. Specifically by my son. Nobody warned me. Whoever invented the terrible twos must’ve been out to lunch during the Threatening Threes (resulting in taking away favorite toys as consequence). Here goes…if you’re wondering “why is my son crying for no reason.”

REASONS WHY HE CRIES

1. I peeled his banana.

2. He can’t reach his pillow.

3. Doesn’t want his toast to cool down.

4. Wants to drink old water.

5. He wanted to take his allergy medicine.

6. I won’t let him wear his pajamas to school.

7. He asked for five blueberries and I gave him five blueberries.

8. I wouldn’t give him pirates booty at 8 am.

9. I made a U-turn.

10. He dropped a napkin.

11. I gave him strawberries and mangos, his favorite fruits.

12. Lego Batman’s cape got caught on his shoulder.

13. The brown sugar in his yogurt disappeared while he was stirring it.

14. I put toothpaste on his toothbrush.

15. We wouldn’t take him to Arizona when we woke up this morning.

16. The birds were chirping.

17. My husband peeled his apple.

18. The cheese touched his broccoli.

19. Two pieces of corn touched his ketchup.

20. I won’t let him do a helicopter tour.

21. His sleeves are not flowy enough on his t-shirt.

So, can you relate?