10 Ways Friendships Change When You’re The Only One Without Kids

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Are women having fewer children? Maybe the bigger question is, are fewer women having children? Once you’re in the mom club, having two versus four children won’t make a tremendous difference in your social life. You’re officially a parent, and that comes with all the changes family life brings. The bigger change in lifestyle happens when you go from zero kids, to that first kid. And studies are finding that much fewer women are making the leap than ever. Since the 1950’s, the number of women having children each year has plummeted . So, childless women, you’re part of a growing group. That being said, if you are a woman who doesn’t have kids, you can sometimes feel like the odd one out. Sure, fewer women are having children, but more still are, than aren’t, so in any given female friend group, you’re likely to find more women who are moms, than who aren’t.

I’m slowly becoming that woman in my friend group, as baby announcements seem to flood my mailbox. I’m losing my friends to their kids. I get it – that’s the natural order of things. You may think, “Well, why don’t the dads take the kids more, so the moms can have fun?” Sure would be nice! But research has found that some antiquated gender roles remain strong, as moms are the ones who still spend the most time with their children . Translation: it’s their social lives, more than the dads’, that take a hit. I’ve learned if I’m going to keep these friendships I cherish, I’ll have to make some adjustments. Here are ways friendships change when you’re the only one without kids.

You learn to take a new interest in their new interest

What do you and your friends typically talk about when you get together? Probably, whatever has been going on in your lives. For your mom friend, what’s been going on in her life is motherhood. That’s finding the bottle her baby responds to best, sleep training, frustrating pediatricians, some new weird habit her kid has picked up, and everything parenthood. When you don’t have kids, you don’t relate to any of this. You feel you have nothing to contribute. You have no similar story to share. You don’t really know what she’s talking about. So, just like when you first met, and you got to know this friend, you almost feel you have to get to know her all over again. You have to re-learn what’s happening in her life, and what matters to her, so you can be prepared to make valuable contributions to conversation.