Moai: The Underappreciated Okinawan Value That Leads to Long and Happy Lives

Okinawans live very differently from the rest of Japan. Among other things, they heavily lean on their ‘moai.’ Blue Zones describes a moai as a group of five friends who “meet for a common purpose to gossip, experience life, and to share advice and even financial assistance when needed.”

Families typically form a moai at a young age, as they put children in groups of five. According to Live Science, you lose half and gain new friends every seven years (roughly). In a moai, the group can stay together for upwards of 90 years. The question must be asked:

What is the glue that holds a group together for that long?

A Moai Maintains Consistent Mutual Support

National Geographic explorer Dan Buettner says exploring emotional connections with other people is vital, and for a good reason:

“Loneliness is as bad for you as smoking.”

Mutual support comes in all shapes and sizes. I like to talk about where my life is going over a pint with my friends. We don’t text each other much, but we don’t need to. When we eventually meet, several month's worth of frustration is laughed away into the night.

One Okinawan, named Klazuko Manna, was 77 years old and the youngest of her moai, report Blue Zones. She tells the researchers of their importance:

“Each member knows that her friends count on her as much as she counts on her friends. If you get sick or a spouse dies or if you run out of money, we know someone will step in and help. It’s much easier to go through life knowing there is a safety net.”

Roughly half of all Okinawans are in a moai. As Klazuko says, it is much easier to go through life knowing you will have support.

You Can Have More Than One Moai

One of the most notable takeaways from my time at university was the comfort of having another friendship group. While I was there, it was like being in a warm bubble, floating in a different hemisphere to my life at home.

Now I’ve left, and things are different. Still, it’s nice to have a friendship group from another place with diverse upbringings. I can maintain other kinds of relationships to the ones I am used to.

In Okinawa, some of the villagers have multiple moai’s. Craig Willcox, a public health professor at Okinawa International University, says he knows one man who belongs to seven groups. Just because they have more than one, it doesn’t mean they are not loyal.

Instead, they bond over a mutual interest. For many Okinawans, it’s the food they grow. For you, it could be a shared love of table tennis. It doesn’t matter. A shared interest is a beautiful thing and can act as a gateway to deeper connections.

An Obligation to Support Your Moai

According to Harvard Medical School, research has found that a lack of social connections increases your chance of dying by 50% — from all causes. In Ogimi, a village in Okinawa, the residents don’t take any chances. They have formed a lifestyle around yuimaru — “the spirit of cooperation.”

If someone hasn’t been seen all day, another person will check up on them. While that’s unplausible for most people (especially at the moment), it doesn’t take much to check up on someone via social media if you haven’t heard from them in a while.

According to the BBC, western cultures tend to think with an individualistic mindset, compared to the more collective India, Japan, and China. If you see someone behaving abnormally, you’d likely blame it on their character, despite not knowing their circumstance.

However, an article published in The Journal of Positive Psychology outlines the benefits of helping others. It says that in a study, participants who volunteered for helpful work reported a greater sense of meaning in their lives than those who didn’t.

By having an obligation to support your friends, not only will you feel better about yourself, but you can reap the rewards of their support. You can feed off the positive energy.

Keep a Small Moai

For most of my teenage years, I was in a large friendship group. While it was great fun at the time, I barely speak to most of them anymore. Instead, the group has been whittled down to a group of eight boys I still regularly see.

Now, I don’t have to worry about keeping up with so many people, but I can still maintain high social integration levels—the smaller the group, the better the connections.

To live past 100, this is vital, as unloading your problems can prevent detention and depression from developing, according to Alzheimer's Society. It also saves a lot of time and energy, as the more profound a connection you can forge, the stronger your moai — the bigger your safety net.

Typically, a moai is a group of five people. If you don’t have anyone in your life who offers the financial or emotional support you need or may depend on in the future, join a club:

• Martial arts
• A book club
• A sports team
• Volunteer work
• Community groups

Just as long as it’s something, you’re passionate about. Then, you can act on your shared interest and form a moai.

The People Around You Heavily Influence Your Life

According to the New York Times, research has found that our social networks heavily influence our lives and that “certain health behaviors appear to be contagious.” If no one in your group eats healthily, it may be more challenging for you to go against them.

Of course, it can work both ways. I started lifting weights primarily because my friends started doing it, and we all still do five years later. When the people closest to you — especially in a close-knit group like a moai — start doing something, you’re probably going to follow suit.

Dan Buettner says this is the key reason why a moai is vital to a long and happy life:

“I argue that the most powerful thing you can do to add healthy years is to curate your immediate social network[…] Your group of friends are better than any drug or anti-aging supplement, and will do more for you than just about anything.”

Final Words

People search for happiness, quick fixes, and hacks when a solution is much closer to home. By putting in effort with other, like-minded people, you can reap what you sow. A true friend will be there for you when you need them, minor and significant issues alike.

Okinawans live for so long because they live with the safety net below them at all times. They eliminate the need to worry. A moai isn’t a burden; it’s something to be celebrated.

After all, a friend in need is a friend indeed, is it not?

Follow me to see more articles like this.

...

Follow