Dealing with Moody People: 7 Smart Strategies

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Some of us seem to have a relatively constant mood, while others' moods are much more turbulent. Dealing with moody people can become tiresome in the long term. (I mean a person can take but so much BS! 
 
Some moody people are just struggling with life, while others use moodiness as a tool to manipulate the people around them. It's helpful to know the difference. There are always tell-tale signs. 
 
Regardless of the source of the moodiness, these tips can help: 
 
1. Try to be understanding. Some people are simply going through a difficult time. Teenagers are prone to all sorts of hormonal issues that make managing their emotions challenging. Sometimes people are depressed, sick, tired, or chronically upset about something in their lives. It's important to attempt to be understanding during these times. 
 
* However, some people are simply bullies and use their moodiness to get what they want from others. Read on for strategies for dealing with this type of moodiness. 
 
2. Take a break. If you're forced to live or work with a moody person, give yourself a break at regular intervals. Do something fun and get away for a bit. Find a non-moody person to talk to for 15 minutes (remember I said talk with not gossip about the moody person, that could turn around a bite you in the butt). Dealing with moody people can be exhausting. There are even some moody people that make you want to just walk out of your job. I agree you don't get paid enough for that crap! 
 
3. Stay calm. There's no reason to get upset. Nine times out of ten, you've probably done nothing wrong. Others are generally moody for reasons that have nothing to do with you directly. You don't have to solve the moodiness or allow it to make you feel bad. I have noticed that some people use anger to mask their ignorance, they are just not very smart. 
 
4. It might be best to consider removing the person from your life. If you're dealing with someone who always seems to dictate the mood around them, they are controlling. If your patience, concern, and advice don't seem to have any effect, and they are making you miserable, consider removing them from your life, or yourself from their presence and or environment 
 
* Any relationship should consist of both people giving and taking. If you're always giving and they're always taking, why are you still spending time with them? 
 
5. Avoid falling into the trap. People stay moody because it helps them to get what they want. Others allow them to have their way to keep the peace. But giving in on a short-term basis only increases your challenge in the long term. If you reward them, they're much less likely to change. Remember people repeat behaviors for which they are rewarded, so put your foot down and stop the crap. 
 
6. Learn to ignore the negative mood. Pretend the other person isn't moody at all. Just go about your day as if nothing were wrong. We can't control others, but we can control our reactions to them. With practice, it becomes easier than you think. My philosophy is not everything needs to be responded to. 
 
7. Address the behavior. Sometimes you can end moodiness/madness by letting them know you're onto their game. This can be as simple as asking, "I've noticed you're often irritable. Why is that?" The last thing a moody person wants is for their moodiness to become suspect. They want to use it as a tool of unquestioned manipulation. 
 
Be sensitive to those who are moody due to dealing with a significant challenge in life. Some people simply need sympathy and understanding, sometimes a simple “Are you ok” will be enough in those instances. However, those that use moodiness to manipulate are a different story. 
 
Avoid rewarding these bullies by having some personal boundaries. Don't let their moods affect the choices you make. Learn to be unaffected by their behavior and for them to obtain the attention they desire they will be forced to take a different approach. Letting these folks have their way is a huge mistake. You're only encouraging the undesirable behavior to continue. 
 
The moodiness of others does not have to have an impact on you if you stay in control of your reactions and emotions. Use these strategies to effectively deal with their negative moods so they don't become an impediment to your personal growth. 

To help end suffering, 

William J. McClelland CLC, CNC, CMPNLP 

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Disclaimer: Please understand that the content of this article is not meant to replace the advice of a licensed physician. The information provided here is intended as educational material only and should never be interpreted as medical advice. If you feel that your condition is a medical emergency, please contact your physician or mental healthcare professional immediately