Diverse group of workers from various professions standing together smiling for the camera to represent the idea that you are not your job.Photo byRawpixel.com via Shutterstock

What do you do?

It seems like such a simple, harmless question, yet it’s one of the first questions we ask when we meet someone.

It’s so ingrained in us to care about what someone does to pay their bills that it’s the first thing we want to know about them.

But here’s the secret they don’t want you to know: You are not your job.

You are not what you do for a living. Everyone on this planet has inherent worth, regardless of what they do for a living.

It’s time we started to recognize that.

You Are Not Your Job

“You are not your job; you're not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet.” - Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

Chuck Palahniuk popularized the idea that you’re not your job in his iconic film Fight Club. Though the movie took a radical turn, the basic premise and that quote still ring true.

Capitalism obsesses over your wallet. Our society only cares about how much money you make and how you make it.

But those things have no intrinsic value. We are far more than the dollars in our pockets.

We’re parents, children, and siblings. We’re friends, lovers, and partners. We have hobbies, interests, and passions outside of our jobs.

We’re humans; as such, we experience the full breadth of the human condition - joy, sorrow, love, hate, excitement, boredom, anxiousness, and fear.

Why Do We Judge People on Their Jobs?

Our society values money and prestige above all else. Therefore, people with better jobs and higher incomes are somehow “better” in our world.

We all pretend that we don’t do it, but be honest. Who is more impressive at first glance, the school cafeteria worker or the school principal? Every fiber of your instinct says it’s the principal.

But that’s only because our society instills the idea that money & prestige matter from birth.

What Do Job Titles Tell Us?

When we think of the principal, we think of someone who went to college and has experience in education. Our instincts tell us they’re ambitious and passionate about their work, qualities we value.

Have you ever thought about why you value those qualities? What do ambition and passion tell us about a person?

Can those qualities tell us that the cafeteria worker spends his free time caring for his elderly parents while the principal spends his cheating on his wife? Or that the cafeteria worker has saved enough money to retire comfortably because he lived well below his means his entire life, while the principal is up to his eyeballs in debt?

Job titles don’t tell us any of that. They don’t offer any crucial information about a person other than how they make their money.

Socially Acceptable Questions

Of course, it’s not socially acceptable to ask folks if they’re an adulterer or drowning in debt. Those types of questions make people feel uncomfortable.

Asking people about their work is a socially acceptable small-talk question.

But we could ask people about all sorts of things, like what they do for fun, their favorite subjects, or their families.

Have you ever wondered why “So…what do you do?” is the societal go-to?

Defining Their Place in Society’s Hierarchy

It’s because what people do for a living defines their position in the social hierarchy. We’ve collectively decided to rate people on their professions, so when we ask what they do for a living, we’re really asking them to tell us where they stand.

When you determine someone’s profession, you know their place in the world.

Doctors go with the important people. Construction workers go to the working-class group. Caretakers barely matter. The unemployed may as well not exist.

Profession Don’t Make a Person

We as a society have decided that specific jobs are more meaningful than others, and we treat the people who do those jobs accordingly.

In addition, it’s as if we all had a silent agreement to look the other way when someone in an esteemed profession is actually a terrible person.

How could they be terrible? They are a doctor!

Despite our insistence to the contrary, there is no way of knowing what type of person someone is based on their chosen profession.

Many people have the privilege of choosing an esteemed profession because they come from wealthy parents who helped them every step of the way. Others who may have the aptitude for it can never achieve those dreams due to the circumstances of their birth.

Does that make the doctor a good person? Does that make the person born into poverty a bad person?

No, of course not.

What Does Make Someone a Good Person?

Job titles don’t translate into goodness.

Some doctors are lovely people who entered the field because they are passionate about curing the sick. Others only care about the money.

So what does make a “good person?”

Unfortunately, it’s a question without a simple answer. Everyone has different morals and values. Many have their own personal code of ethics. We all have varied ideas of what constitutes “goodness.”

However, we can all agree that good people treat others with dignity and respect. They act with empathy, care about other people’s well-being, and help out when they can.

Professions and Goodness

Society loves equating certain professions with goodness. Religious leaders, teachers, and doctors enjoy an assumed “goodness.” We idolize entertainers, athletes, and businesspeople, refusing to believe the evidence of their appalling behavior.

In reality, a person’s profession says very little about whether they’re a good person or not. Religious leaders notoriously engage in the most horrific acts known to man, yet society constantly gives them the benefit of the doubt. Doctors and entertainers constantly look down on others, yet we continue to elevate them, supporting their massive egos.

I’m tired of society telling us that a person’s job defines their worth or that people in certain professions are better than others. A job is a way to make money; it’s not what defines us as people.

You are not your job; your job doesn’t define your goodness. What makes someone a good person is how their actions impact the world around them and how they treat others (in my humble opinion).

Changing the Conversation

It’s difficult to overcome a lifetime of social programming, but we must change the conversation.

Instead of asking a new friend what they do for a living, ask them about their life. Show interest in their families, pastimes, and ideas.

When people ask you what you do, don’t let your job define you. Tell them about your hobbies and passions or how you spend your free time.

Let’s create our own stories – and highlight what we are most proud of in our lives. That may be your chosen profession, but it may be completely different. Work just maybe how you pay your bills, and that’s ok!

Changing Our Perspectives

Once we can change the conversation, we can start changing our perspectives. We can start understanding how the myth of the American Dream has influenced us and work to undo that programming.

Then, we can start valuing people based on their individual qualities rather than how they contribute to the economy.

You are not your job, so stop letting it define you.

This article was produced and syndicated by Partners in Fire.