Opinion: How to Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones

Back view of a woman sitting outside wearing headphones.Photo byAntonio Guillem via Shutterstock

Imagine you’re a single guy, out and about, enjoying the town, when a gorgeous woman crosses your path. You want to talk to her, at least say hi, and see if it turns into something more.

Unfortunately, there’s one small hiccup with your plan: she’s wearing headphones.

What can you do?

How to Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones

Don’t.

That’s it. That’s the answer.

There’s an article floating around online giving men “tips” for talking to a woman who has headphones on, and I’m here to rebuff the entire premise.

Do not approach women wearing headphones. Don’t motion for them to remove their headphones so you can talk to them. Don’t approach her and smile, waiting for her to take them off on her own. Don’t wave, trying to get her attention.

Don’t talk to women wearing headphones. She doesn’t want to talk to you.

Women Wear Headphones To Avoid Conversation

It’s not personal. She’s not specifically pointing at you, saying she doesn’t want to talk to YOU.

She doesn’t want to talk to anyone.

Headphones are a universal social cue that means “leave me alone.”

Women wear them because they don’t want to be disturbed. You’re not “alpha” for disrespecting her boundaries; you’re rude. Waiting around, waving your hands, and motioning for her to remove said headphones doesn’t show confidence; it shows creepiness.

A woman wears headphones when she doesn’t want to interact with anyone, and that includes you. Respect her wishes.

When is it Okay To Approach a Woman Wearing Headphones?

There are extremely limited circumstances where it’s okay to talk to a woman wearing headphones.

If an emergency is happening nearby, and she’s unaware because of the headphones, by all means, talk to her to notify her of the situation. Maybe you need her phone to call 911 or her help to perform CPR.

It’s okay to talk to her in these types of extenuating circumstances.

When Can I Approach Women?

If you can’t approach a woman wearing headphones, when is it appropriate to approach women?

Here are four great examples of when it’s okay to talk to random women.

At a Club/Bar

Clubs and bars are specifically designed to facilitate meetups. Approach women at bars. Offer them drinks.

But remember the cardinal rule: treat them like human beings. If she declines your advances, gracefully bow out. Don’t harass her, verbally abuse her, or force the issue.

When She Sends Signals

Women often send signals that they’re open to conversation. She might smile at you, make eye contact, open up her body language, or sensually run her finger along her neck or arm.

Be on the lookout for these, and if you see them, approach with a friendly smile and a “hello.”

It’s always possible that you misread the body language or it was intended for someone else. If she declines, apologize and leave her alone.

Singles Events

Singles events are made for cold approaches. Every woman there is there because she’s looking for something.

That doesn’t mean she’s looking for you, specifically.

Make your approach, but understand you might not be the one for her, and move on if she indicates she’s not interested.

Hobbies/Friends

The best way to meet women is through friends and hobbies. Women want partners who see them as people first, and hobbies provide the opportunity.

Talk to the women in your hobby club about the hobby. Build a relationship based on mutual interest. It might blossom into something more, and it might not.

Treat Women Like People

Women wear headphones (sometimes without listening to anything) because they’re tired of constantly being approached by random men when they’re just trying to live their lives.

They want to be left alone.

If you were treating that woman like a human being who has boundaries, you would never even consider approaching her because you would see that she doesn’t want to be bothered.

If you want to be more successful with women, stop asking how you can cross their boundaries and approach them when they clearly don’t want to be bothered, and start treating them with the respect and dignity of a human being.

You might not score with the hot chick wearing headphones, but you’ll be a more desirable partner.

This article was produced and syndicated by Partners in Fire.