I'm not having a second child because my baby's gas pains are driving me nuts

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The majority of the time, my 7 month old son is as happy as can be. We laugh and play and have the best time; I love being a mom! But when it’s time to sleep, whether it’s nap time or bedtime, everything goes to shit. My son will be sleeping, and sometimes I can literally hear a gas bubble move in his belly. He instantly scrunches up and starts whining/crying. 

It isn’t as much of a big deal for naps because I can hold him in a specific position so he can get a long enough nap (although then I can get nothing done), but bedtime is horrid. We spend hours rocking, bouncing, walking around, all the things, and nothing works. I will finally get him comfortable enough to fall asleep, and then he’ll be awake again within 30–40 minutes crying with discomfort. I’m getting 3–4 hours of sleep at night, and I’m losing my mind. 

For reference, I was diagnosed with severe IUGR at 20 weeks pregnant — he measured in the 5th, 2nd, and 1st percentile throughout my pregnancy and was delivered via c-section at 36 weeks due to a stop in growth and failing NSTs. We realized at 9 weeks he had severe oral ties (tongue and lip) and tried a revision, but I know there was some reattachment; as a result of the ties, he has a very high palate (roof of the mouth). 

I have talked to a pediatric oral-motor functionalist, his pediatrician, and other mama’s, and nothing they’ve suggested has helped. We do gas drops (have tried them straight in the mouth and mixing them in the bottle), switched to suggested pacifiers and bottles, switched formulas multiple times (and finally ended with a soy based one after realizing he has a lactose allergy), carefully monitor the food he eats to make sure they don’t have lactose, do bath before bed, tummy massages (we took my son to physical therapy for a few months, and the therapist taught me the stretches/massages to help release gas), pace feed upright an hour before sleep and make sure to burp him thoroughly before bed. All the things. And every damn night, it is the same thing. 

On the rare occasions we can get all the air out, he sleeps for hours just fine, but for some reason, he has a hard time releasing the air, whether it be burping or farting, even during the day. My husband and I are miserable and exhausted. I feel resentful and like a terrible mother. I never want to have another child. I cannot go through this again.