My Partner is Inviting a Co-worker Over to Drink While Our Child and I Sleep, Without Telling Me.

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Is it just me or would other people be uncomfortable about this?

My partner works long hours in the film industry and usually gets home very late, after our son and I go to bed. He usually sleeps in the basement spare bedroom so he doesn’t wake us up.

Since we’ve moved into our new house, I’ve noticed the garage light has been left on; or one time the radio was left on and blaring music. Whenever I ask him what he did the night before, it’s like pulling teeth. He always immediately responds “nothing”. Then I have to ask him twenty questions to get the details of what he did the night before. Was he in the garage, was he drinking, etc. He’s never forthright. I have to ask a specific question otherwise he won’t tell me and then later if I find out, he will say “Well you didn’t specifically ask about that”. He also thinks this whole game is funny, in an “oh you don’t wanna know what I get up to” kind of way if that makes sense. I obviously don’t find it funny and it’s severely degraded our trust in our relationship.

Last night I was still awake when I heard him pull in the driveway but I didn’t hear him come in the door. In the morning I noticed the basement bathroom was trashed. When he woke up, he was noticeably hungover and again I asked him what he did last night and he said “nothing”. I told him I could tell he’d been drinking. When I asked him if he was alone, he said no, his coworker he gives a ride to every day was with him.

I got upset because he had this man here that I’ve never really met (I’ve waved to him a couple times in the morning when they leave for work). They were drinking out in the garage while my son is virtually unsupervised because I’m asleep in the other room and I had no idea. I understand they’re out in the garage but what if he were to ask to use the bathroom inside the house? I feel uncomfortable possibly having this stranger wandering around my house while I’m fast asleep.

My partner thinks I’m overreacting and I think he’s just attributing this to “you just don’t want me to drink and have fun with my friends”. I’ve told him that the only reason I don’t like him drinking after work every night is because by the time the weekend comes, he crashes and complains that he’s sick (ie. hungover) and then sleeps the entire weekend. And that’s the only time he really gets to see me or his son.

I just feel the fact there’s been someone here while we sleep and I had no idea has crossed a line and is unsafe because we have a child now. Am I being paranoid? I do have a lot of anxiety about predators and want to protect my child as best I can by not putting them in difficult situations.