Is it selfish to ignore your husband’s wishes for your daughter’s party?

Photo byNathan DumlaoonUnsplash

My husband and I are struggling to come to an agreement on our daughter’s upcoming celebration. We have both agreed that we don’t want a big traditional party because our daughter is shy and we can’t afford it. Instead, we planned to have a small lunch at a nice restaurant after the service, and a special night event with only a few close friends.

The problem is, we have different ideas of what “small” means. I suggested inviting only close family and family-like friends, which would be around 50 people. But my husband wants to invite many of our friends, claiming it’s a celebration for all of us and our family as much as for our daughter. This would mean inviting close to 100 people, which is not what we agreed on. This defeats the purpose of having an intimate event for our daughter, who insists on having a smaller celebration. A guest list of 100 people would require booking a country club or something equally formal, which is not what we envisioned for her.

I tried to compromise by suggesting we invite only our closest friends and their families, which would put us at around 75 people. However, my husband insists on including families I don’t get along with. He is very close with the husbands of these families, but in recent years, our families have grown apart. Despite my daughter not liking the kids in these families, my husband insists on inviting them.

We need to decide soon because the guest list determines where we book the event, and we are only a year away. I believe we should honor our daughter’s wishes and have a smaller celebration, while my husband thinks we should invite whomever we want since we’re the ones throwing the party. I’m frustrated and don’t know how we can come to an agreement. I just needed to vent.