I told my father-in-law he wasn't the man of the house. He blew up. Was I Wrong?

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I married into a family that consists of a father (M62), mother (F53), and four daughters whom I'll call Ana (F32), Laura (F31), Jessica (F29), and my wife Sarah (F28). All the sisters are now married, with my wife and me being the last ones to do so.

My father-in-law worked all his life in blue-collar jobs, which isn't bad, but he believes that blue-collar jobs are the only acceptable jobs for men. Since none of us work blue-collar jobs, he's always making snide comments about how we're not "real men." My mother-in-law and sisters-in-law are always excusing him, and for the most part, we let it go.

Despite my father-in-law's remarks about how important it is for men to have manly jobs, the reality is that he's always been kind of a moocher. He stopped working around age 40, and my wife's maternal grandparents footed the bill for him and my mother-in-law. Then, they left them some inheritance, which they live off of with our occasional help.

When the pandemic started, my in-laws' finances weren't great, so they burned through the inheritance faster than usual and eventually lost their home. The family helped them; first, they stayed with Jessica, who lived closest to them, then with Ana, and since April, they've been staying with my wife and me. It has been awful! This man will complain about your traditional gender stuff if he sees me cooking, cleaning, or doing anything that isn't repairing my own car. Also, he hasn't helped at all, doesn't pick up after himself, and expects to be served 24/7 instantly. He demands to be fed first by his wife because he's the man of the house. I hate this phrase since he doesn't even do the chores that are "traditionally manly," like taking out the trash or doing minor house repairs, and he has acted like this in the other houses he stayed at.

Last Friday, we had a small barbecue with my in-laws, and everyone arrived early to help, except my father-in-law. When he arrived, he only complained that everything was done wrong and how he could do it better. But when given the chance, he always said, "it's not my job to teach us how to do a man's job." So the four of us were really annoyed, and as always, the girls defended him.

When it came time to eat, he demanded the biggest steak as he was the head of the family. Ana's husband was serving, and he told him that he would give the biggest piece to Laura's husband since we were guests at his house. He flipped and demanded to be respected as the man of the house. So I simply said, "you're not the man of the house." This angered him even more, and finally, I added, "and you haven't been in a while."

That cut things short, and after eating, my father-in-law and mother-in-law left for a hotel and demanded to stay with someone else because of my disrespect. My wife and sisters-in-law are super angry at me and say I should just understand that he's from another time and not confront him. But my brothers-in-law say this is way past due and he needed the wake-up call. At the time, I felt justified, but with everyone angry, I feel like I may have overstepped. Was I wrong?