I disagreed with my husband's strict food rules for our daughter - now he's furious

Photo byPeter DawnonUnsplash

My husband (33) and I (31) have three children: a 5-year-old daughter, a 7-year-old son, and a 10-year-old daughter. We decided to take the kids to a local restaurant for a treat. My husband is very health-conscious and is very particular about what our children eat, which is the main source of our arguments.

At the restaurant, the kids were excited to order. Our 10-year-old daughter, whom we'll call Lily, ordered a cheeseburger with bacon. My husband interjected and added, "with lettuce and tomato." Lily's face immediately fell, and she looked disappointed.

After the server took our orders, my husband asked Lily what was wrong. She explained that she didn't want lettuce and tomato on her burger because she doesn't like them. He sighed and said that having vegetables with every meal was super important, and they've talked about this a million times. Lily started to tear up. She is on the spectrum and has sensory processing issues, and many food textures bother her, including tomatoes. It bothered me that my husband didn't seem to care.

When the food came, Lily didn't touch her burger. When my husband went to the restroom, I took the lettuce and tomato off her burger, put them on mine, and winked at her. She grinned and happily ate her burger. My husband didn't say anything about it until that night.

He told me that taking the vegetables off was a violation of his trust because he was just looking out for our daughter's health. I argued that it was just one meal, and not having vegetables ONCE wasn't a big deal. He said that those vegetables were very important. I left the room, and we haven't spoken much since. So, was I wrong for taking the vegetables off my daughter's burger?