My husband plays video games all day and it's making me want to leave him

Photo byEric WardonUnsplash

I am a 31-year-old woman who has been married to my husband, who is 44 years old, for almost eight years, and we have been married for three. Initially, everything was great between us. We were always doing things together, and we were happy. However, ever since we got married, and if I'm being honest, even before that, I have not been happy. We are complete opposites, and that used to be okay, but over the years, I have started to resent him for who he is.

My husband is very much into video games. If he is not at work, then he is gaming. When he first started gaming, I was okay with it, as I know that everyone needs a hobby or an outlet. Pretty soon, though, it became an obsession. I am solely responsible for all things related to our home and his daughter. I pay all bills, excluding our car insurance. I pay all expenses related to his daughter, who lives with us full-time until she graduates. I have tried to get him to see that I cannot do everything alone, and that I should not have to. He tells me that he will do better, and he does for a week or so, but then we are back to where we were before.

I am mentally exhausted to the point where I just can't be in this relationship any longer. I tried to leave two years ago because I hit a breaking point like I am now. However, he did not take it well and stated that he was going to harm himself. His manipulation worked, and I stayed. I have regretted that every day since. Friends and family have been telling me for a long time that I need to leave. I am still young and can start over, but I just don't think I am strong enough. How does one get the strength to do something they know they need to do?

My stepdaughter is one of my best friends. She is an amazing kid, and I can't imagine her not being in my life. She knows I have been unhappy and makes comments to me constantly about her father's behavior. She is always telling him he needs to do better, but it does not make a difference. I wish it did.

My husband is not a bad person. He is not mean, he does not yell, he is not rude. I do love him, but not the way one is supposed to when they are married. I do not want to resent him any longer, but that is all I feel when I look at him. It makes me feel so horrible having those feelings. I know that if I try to leave again, he will threaten to harm himself once more, and I just do not think I am strong enough to not put that blame on myself. I wish I was. I wish that more than anything. How does one get the strength to do what in their heart they know needs to be done?