My Wife's Mother Was Disrespectful And Now I'm Not Sure I Want Her In Our Lives

Photo byPatricia PrudenteonUnsplash

My wife and I have been together for almost 17 years, and married for close to 10. When we got married, we moved to a different city due to my acceptance into a competitive professional graduate program. We took under our care her then 5-year-old nephew, who was abandoned by his parents.

My wife asked her mother (MIL) to come with us to help take care of her nephew while she worked. I agreed, thinking it was the right thing to do.

Unfortunately, my relationship with MIL was tumultuous. My wife refused to interject and always pleaded neutrality. MIL constantly harassed me for not being a man of the house, even though I was away studying and trying to progress academically. She even asked my parents why they didn't teach me to be a man of the house. She thought I was not hearing her but I was in the other room studying.

My relationship with my nephew blossomed into that of a father-son. He's now 12 years old and calls me dad. He has very little recollection of his biological parents. I kicked MIL out of the house because she refused to filter her thoughts and said I had no balls. At the time, we did not have any documentation for guardianship or adoption of her nephew. When MIL got kicked out, she went to tell everyone and the biological mother that I was abusive and they had to remove the nephew from our home, which were all lies.

In a span of two weeks, she demanded that we hand over the nephew. He was already enrolled in school, and we asked for time to figure this out so he could transition easier. We knew it would be difficult for him since he had bonded with our baby daughter, who he calls his sister and they love each other so much.

MIL felt that, with a power of attorney, she could take the nephew away. All of her family refused to intervene because they believed I was the toxic one for kicking her out. No one on MIL's side offered support, even though they knew the child was better with us since MIL had no income or home.

My wife and I ended up hiring a lawyer and filed for emergency guardianship, which was subsequently granted permanent guardianship. Thankfully, the court saw it in our favor that it would be best for the child to continue living in the only home he knows for more than five years.

It's been almost a year since that incident. I'm not sure I want this wicked woman in my children's lives. Up to this point, she hasn't been able to muster an apology and feels she was only speaking the truth.

Is it okay to keep my children from seeing their grandmother given the harm she caused us as a family?