My MIL Called Me Petty So I Blocked Her Number

Photo byGilles LambertonUnsplash

My mother-in-law and I have had a strained relationship for years. Despite not liking me at first, she suddenly became kind when she found out I was pregnant and would be giving her a grandchild. However, she has always overstepped boundaries and pushed me too far. At the end of my pregnancy, my husband and I moved in with her for a few months while looking for a new place. After my emergency c-section, I struggled and needed time alone with my family to recover. My mother-in-law took this personally and accused me of keeping my baby away from her, even though she never asked to hold him or spend time with him. She was very rude and nasty to me in the first few weeks of my son's life, and I finally snapped and told her to back off. She then threw it in my face that it was "her house," even though we paid rent to live there.

I couldn't take it anymore, so I cut contact with her. I never explicitly told her she couldn't see the baby, but I just didn't want to deal with her. She never tried to reach out or make any effort to see my son, so she went five months without seeing him. I eventually decided to try and squash things and be the bigger person by reaching out to her to apologize if I had hurt her feelings. However, I never received an apology from her for her behavior, so I let it go.

Later on, she started watching my son a few days a week while I was at work, but I kept communication strictly about my son and never tried to form a relationship with her outside of that. However, things got complicated when my husband and I decided we didn't want to have a relationship with his grandmother, whom my mother-in-law talked badly about but still tried to push a relationship with her youngest son. I tried to have a relationship with her, but she said some things that made me and my husband uncomfortable, so I stopped talking to her but kept her on Facebook so she could still see pictures of my son.

One day, I saw my mother-in-law comment on a photo of my son that the grandmother posted, saying she would call her while she was watching my son so they could video chat. I didn't feel comfortable with that and talked to my husband about it. He then texted his mother and respectfully explained that we didn't want her talking to our son without us present and that we weren't interested in her being in his life at all. She took it very personally and accused us of being petty and ridiculous, but she never reached out to us to express how she felt. Instead, she told her husband, which made things even worse.

At this point, I felt so done with her and told her that I didn't want her watching my son anymore, and I was ready to cut off contact completely. I believe that as parents, we should be able to say what we want or don't want regarding our child without any drama. I blocked her number and told her that she could go through her son to have a relationship with her grandchild. I know she might claim that we're keeping him away from her again, but she never put in any effort to see him before, and I never explicitly said she couldn't see him. I feel like I tried to give her a chance to have a relationship with him, but no matter what I do or say, she will always twist it to make me the villain. Sometimes I worry I'm being too harsh, but other moms have told me that if someone can't respect your parenting, why should you trust them with your child?