To Beach or Not to Beach: I'm an Expecting Mother In a Dilemma With my Crazy Cat-Friendly In-Laws

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So my partner's family takes an annual beach trip that's supposed to be a "family" vacation, but really it's just whoever wants to attend. This year, my partner and I are expecting our first child, which will also be his mom's first grandchild. I had the idea to surprise her at the airport and make her feel more included in the trip. We made arrangements to arrive a few days earlier and leave a few days after the trip ends. But as the date approaches, I'm starting to hate the idea more and more.

The trip is paid for by a trust fund set up by my partner's grandparents because family is a big deal to them. However, there are some major issues. First, my partner's mom lives in a three-story house that's always disgusting and smells like cat pee. She only has one elderly cat left and is in her 60s. She's always been unrealistic about the cleanliness of her home and thinks it's kept up to date when it looks like a typical situation where the house is too much for her to keep up with. We usually just put up with it, but being pregnant, I can't stand the smell. We deep clean our own home weekly, and we only have a dog and cat that never leave their room. But every time I walk by my partner's mom's room, my eyes water, and I feel nauseous from the cat box. I know it will be a nightmare to stay there. We've talked to her about downsizing and moving, and even gushed about how well the cleaning crew did the last time they were there.

Also, my partner's family's cooking is terrible. They make really weird, healthy combinations like a pecan salad with raisins, sunflower seeds, and raw cauliflower, or super fatty dishes with two sticks of butter or a couple of pounds of bacon, and they always choose cheap, fatty cuts of meat. They even make a mayo cake, which is disgusting. During my pregnancy, I can't eat a lot at once, and when I do want food, it's regular things like a few grapes, celery, different sandwiches, toast, and jam. Considering that many people aren't respectful of dietary restrictions during pregnancy, I know we'll have to pay for my own food. Usually, the trust fund covers the food costs, but they eat the exact same thing every year. Last year, I put down some pasta on a sheet of additional items, and they made the biggest deal about it and gave me a hard time the entire time. Keep in mind that my partner's family is between 45-67 years old, with a couple of his cousins being in their early 30s.

To make matters worse, we just moved, and I'm currently between jobs, so our finances are tight. Instead of just paying for plane tickets and boarding our dog, we're now looking at five days in a hotel and paying for food that we can't bring or take home. It's not a relaxing or cost-friendly trip for us, and I can't imagine visiting his mom's house during holidays once our baby is born, given the disgusting state of her home.

So, to sum up the situation, I want to make my partner's mom feel included in her first grandchild's life, but in reality, I'll be miserable, it'll be financially irresponsible, and there's no way we'll stay at my partner's mom's house in the future. So, do we go and be miserable, or go and have $2k in debt, or just not go at all?