Would You Pay a $50 Parenting Fee at a Restaurant?

Moms Who Think Insights

• A Reddit post shares an article about unsuspecting parents being hit with a $50 parenting fee at a restaurant.
• The restaurant in question is Toccoa Riverside Restaurant.
• The commenters have mixed feelings.
• However, most believe that the parents should be held responsible if the kids are blatantly disruptive to other guests and parents are doing nothing about it.
• Also see: What is Gentle Parenting? And Does it Actually Work?

Anyone who has been a parent for more than a week knows that children can be unpredictable. Parenting is not easy, which means that even the best of parents may venture to a restaurant and encounter their kid having a full-on meltdown or being downright disrespectful. What these parents do once the meltdown or disrespect occurs is very important, especially to the owners of a restaurant and the other guests around them.

In this Reddit post , on the subreddit r/nottheonion, a 2023 article from WHIOTV7 describes a parent's nightmare. A group of families took their 11 children to the Toccoa Riverside Restaurant when they were all hit with a $50 surcharge from the owner on each of their bills. Why were they receiving a $50 surcharge exactly? Well, according to the owner, it was because the kids were too loud and running around the restaurant.

Right off the bat, there is an apparent disagreement from both sides about what happened. The families in question state that their children were only running outside of the restaurant after becoming antsy. However, according to the restaurant owner, they were running around the restaurant and being too loud. The mother in the article was taken aback when they were given the surcharge. She even comments that she thought the children were being “so good.”

The Scenario

In this scenario, five families are choosing a restaurant to take their children to and settle on Toccoa Riverside Restaurant. Choosing a place to eat with children in itself can be challenging, especially since most children have the attention spans of a goldfish. However, after a quick look at the Toccoa Riverside Restaurant website, it's clear the place that this family chose is set up as fine dining. Additionally, at the bottom of the menu , it states, “Adult surcharge: For adults unable to parent $$$.”

The menu then states under the surcharge, “Be respectful to staff, property, and self. No respect, no service.”

What is “Poor Behavior?”

Any business has the right to refuse service to anyone unless it's for discrimination against a specific class. So, does this mean the restaurant can add a surcharge if families are not following the clear rules? Legally, yes.

But this scenario begs the question: What exactly is poor behavior? Redditors were split on this.

Should parents pay more money if their children are running outside? (This mom maintains that this is what happened.) What about if a toddler cries for a few minutes and disrupts the other guests? Is that considered poor behavior?

Every story has two sides, and the article doesn't paint a clear picture of who was exactly right in this scenario. However, this is a scenario (minus the surcharge) that happens time and time again. Parents venture out into public with their children, children misbehave, and other people around them are inconvenienced and start judging parenting skills.

Who is Right in This Scenario?

So, the question remains: Who is in the right? Is it okay to take a child to a restaurant and expect people to give a little bit of grace since the children are still learning? Where is an appropriate place to take them? Should onlookers learn to offer grace to these children? On the flip side, does grace equal complete disregard for correcting children? Especially children who are genuinely being disruptive and, quite honestly, rude to other people?

In almost everyone's opinion, running around a restaurant, no matter the type, is poor behavior. This poor behavior is even worse when parents do not attempt to correct the behavior. It is disruptive to the other people eating at the same restaurant and trying to enjoy their dinners. While parents may not like the surcharge, the restaurant has every right to add it if children aren't respecting their property and the guests around them.

The Recommendation

Parents know that children can be pretty unpredictable, especially when there are a lot of them together. Expecting people out in public spaces to offer your children grace is absolutely okay. However, that doesn't give any parent an excuse not to actually parent their children when out in public.

If a child is running around, yelling, and disrespecting other people (guests and staff,) then it's on the parents to remove the child. While you are out and about with kids, you may notice that people aren't quite as judgy and rude as people like to say.  Especially if it is clear that you are doing your best to attempt a correction of behavior.

Expecting someone to be respectful to your child is important, and teaching your child to be respectful in return is a must. This means teaching your child the correct ways to behave in public starts while they are young.

Enforcing Proper Public Behavior

One way to do so is to take your child out to restaurants and public places starting at a young age and begin enforcing respectful behaviors. Start with family-friendly restaurants or even a fast-food joint. Encourage good behavior by reminding your kids that running is not okay in a tight, confined place (or indoors at all unless of course it's a kid's jungle gym.) Make sure your kids understand that a restaurant is not their property; it's someone else's, so being respectful is a must. Yelling should only be done outdoors. After all, they aren't the only ones in the place trying to eat. Squashing the main character syndrome before it takes root can help kids (and adults) remember what proper behavior in public spaces is.

Of course, you know your child better than anyone else, but it's best to find a kid-friendly restaurant when in doubt. You can always go to those fine dining restaurants when your children are older.

The Takeaway

Most Redditors agree that parents who take their children to a fine-dining restaurant should know how their children will behave. Of course, no one is perfect, so this means the parents should be capable of intervening and reinforcing their expectations. Time and time again, adults will go to a fine-dining restaurant, and their evening is disrupted by children running around them, yelling at the top of their lungs, and engaging in other rude behavior.

Even parents can say they have been somewhere and come across a person whose child is doing whatever they want and thought, “Man, I'm glad my kid doesn't act that way.”

According to the Redditors, although being a parent is hard, it doesn't give us permission to just let our kids do whatever they want to. If you want to be able to take your children to a restaurant and not worry about judgy people complaining or being hit with a surcharge, then you need to be sure your child is actually capable of behaving and that you are capable of correcting misbehavior when it occurs.

After all, they make fast-food and family-friendly restaurants for a reason. That reason is so kids can enjoy themselves without high expectations. It's also so adults can go to a nice place and enjoy themselves. Learning proper behavior in public spaces starts at home, Otherwise, maybe it's best to just stay home and order a pizza.

The image featured at the top of this post is ©Nicoleta Ionescu/Shutterstock.com.

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