Decide between love or respect a marriage

How to choose between the right and the heart

Photo byMarie-Michèle BouchardonUnsplash

Love, as it is blind, it prevents lovers see the funny nonsense they commit.” — William Shakespeare

He is the man you always dreamed of. He is ideal for you; he treats you like a queen; you are the perfect couple. The problem is that your better half is the better half of someone else.

It is a dilemma that has been lived for centuries. Maybe you didn’t know the man was married, or perhaps you did. You probably didn’t think your feelings would come so far.

In both cases, the conflict is present: you love someone you should not love.

Every woman is different; therefore, every story is different. It is difficult to advise in a general sense, but I will do it in those aspects that each situation could have in common.

Is the forbidden more intense?

It could be, and also, the consequences could be pretty damaging. I am not talking about morals or ethics; I am talking about “feelings.”

Forbid Us Something and That Thing we Desire.”―Geoffrey Chaucer

If you are in love with someone who cannot dedicate their time just to you alone, then sooner or later, you will feel very hurt. If you’re one of those who are content to be in a half relationship, you may feel like you don’t deserve better.

In either of these two situations, I urge you to do and analyze the following:

Stop idealizing it

Your “prince” does not have to be charming; perhaps what suits you is a sincere and responsible one.

I mean by this that as perfect as he seems to you, he has flaws like all people, and one of those flaws is acting selfishly with you by continuing to nurture a relationship when he doesn’t want to end up with his wife.

You will not know if your ideal man exists if you do not try to have him.

Stop fooling yourself

Sometimes lovers victimize themselves. That’s right, although you can usually see the wife as the victim, if you are the other woman, you may feel that you are sacrificing yourself for love. But no one is asking you to do it.

In any erotic relationship, the lovers always intuit the truth, yet they insist on believing all the lies.”— Arthur Schnitzler

Stop lying to yourself, you have control to get out of that relationship, and he can’t stop you with promises or living with excessive passion. You know very well that this will end, and you usually will end up emotionally hurt.

Feed your self-love

As I said before, every woman deserves to have a partner free of obstacles, someone who provides passion and cand safety, listens to you, values you, and introduces you to others with pride.

If you can’t have a healthy relationship with him but want to love someone, love yourself first.

You have the potential to fall in love with a free man who is willing to share the rest of your days with you.

Time goes by too fast

Many times we find ourselves at a crossroads. You feel terrific in that relationship, and you say: “it is better to live in the moment.” While it is true that living in the present is the ideal way to avoid stress, you should consider that time can take its toll.

Perhaps you are young and want to have fun, but it is precisely in youth that you have the opportunity to achieve the most important things.

Don’t do what you would not like to be done to you

For me, this is a golden rule. If you want to live in peace and harmony with yourself, why do to someone what you would hate to be done to you? Think of her as his wife.

Maybe you think you’re not doing anything wrong (who should respect the wife is him), and you’re right, but the man is unfaithful because he gets another person who allows him to be.

So, if you decide to end the relationship or are already in that process, even if it is painful, lack of contact with that person is the best.

If you are really in love, it won’t be easy, but only in this way can you eliminate this feeling.

What if the relationship had consequences? What if you had a child with him?

Definitely, the situation is more complicated with a child involved since you must keep in touch with him. But that is no excuse for him to continue being your partner.

In this situation, both must be mature enough so that their emotions do not affect or interfere with the child’s upbringing.

In the end, to achieve the closest thing to happiness, you must be surrounded by sincere people with whom you can share everything without limitations or secrets, and you deserve that.