“I Was Out Of My Mind” – In 1960, A Drunk & Frustrated Willie Nelson Laid Down On Broadway In The Snow

Even for a musician as talented as Willie Nelson , the road to stardom wasn't all wine and roses. Born in Abbott, Texas in 1933, music came easily to him as a child, writing his first song at age 7, joining his first band at age 10, and touring locally in high school with a group called the Bohemian Polka. After a quick stint in the Air Force he went to Baylor University but dropped out after two years to fully commit to music, which he'd never given up on despite those other pursuits. While his music career started in Texas and lead him to Washington, Colorado, Missouri, then back to Texas, it wasn't until he moved to Music City that he began to gain any amount of traction. In 1960, a 27 year old Willie Nelson arrived in Nashville and began playing the bar scene hard, hoping a record executive would hear his work and sign him to a deal, but again, he wasn't having much luck. Sure, he had a catalogue of songs he thought were great and had made some famous friends that could give him an in with the industry, but times were tough as he tried to provide for his wife at the time and their young kids, who were living in a trailer park. All this was proving to be too much for him to handle and one night it nearly all came to a head. In his 1988 autobiography It's a Long Story: My Life , Willie describes one moment during a Nashville snowstorm where he seriously considered leaving music behind him:

“When a cold front hit Nashville that winter, I sat at the bar at Tootsie’s and gazed out the window, watching the drifting snow, feeling as low as low can be. My soul was frozen over. The warm sunshine of hope was a million miles away.

I didn’t know how long I could go on in Nashville, I still hadn’t found a way to get my songs in the store, even though I had found good pals like Roger Miller and Hank Cochran, DJ’s Grant Turner and Ralph Emory, I felt like I was sliding down a slippery slope.

You can bet I’d been downing big quantities of whiskey, wine and beer. I was no longer in my right mind. I was in my ‘Who gives a fuck’ mind. I was out of my mind. I got up from the bar and walked out into the cold.”

Despite the freezing cold temperatures and light clothing he was wearing, Willie parked himself in the middle of the street and let the weight of the moment wash over him.

“I didn’t have a heavy coat, just a denim jacket, but the freezing temperature didn’t bother me. The chilling wind didn’t bother me. The snowfall didn’t bother me. Nothing bothered me.

The city was still. No one on the street except me. A weird peace came over me as I walked off the sidewalk into the middle of the street, where – don’t ask me why – I decided to lie down and rest. Right then and there, I lay on my back, eyes wide open, watching the snowflakes fall on my head.

I considered the possibility that a car might well roll over me. I guess I must have been okay with that, because, for at least 10 minutes, I didn’t move.”

He went on to say that the reason he did it was mostly just because he was drunk and not that he wanted to end his life.

“Maybe I was looking for an out, or maybe I was just taking a break or a chance. It’s tough to know exactly what I was up to. I was drunk, and as a rule, drunks do crazy shit.

I can’t tell you that I was trying to commit suicide, because I wasn’t. In those days, I usually packed a pistol. In my young and stupid macho mind, I thought that’s what ‘real men’ did. If I were interested in ending it all, I could have shot myself in the head, but that thought did not cross my mind.

Instead, it was just a matter of reclining in the middle of the street on a snowy night in Nashville. I might have written a song about it, but I didn’t.”

Shortly after this moment, Willie got a bit of a break when the aforementioned Hank Cochran referred him to Pamper Music in Goodlettsville, where he was eventually hired on as a writer for $50 per week. Of course, Willie didn't actually break into the music scene for real until he put Nashville in the rearview mirror and went down to Austin, Texas, but moments like these show the power of sticking with something when you know it's what you're supposed to be doing. That doesn't mean bash your head into the same wall over and over again, but regroup and find a new angle, or in Willie's case a new town, to build your career in. https://youtu.be/ZitGblzU8t0